I lived with God – ABSOLUTELY A MUST READ
Prof. Sundaraman lives in DC/NJ area in US. Although I can’t say that I know him very well, I do know him – met him in couple of Maharudrams and talked to him few times etc. He is a great soul and reading this article makes me feel how fortunate is he that Periyavaa blessed him throughout the time…. Please read this article quietly and you will truly enjoy His anugrahams.
I LIVED WITH GOD
D.Sundararaman
(Sundararaman, ‘that son of Duraiswamy’)
Recently, my wife, Lakshmi and I went to Kancheepuram on January 7, 1993, to have ‘darshan’ of our Periaval and to get his blessings for the forthcoming wedding of our son Guruprasad. On reaching the Kanchi Kamakoti Math, we learnt that Periaval was not giving darshan that day and might not give darshan the following day also. Still, we waited in line in the place where he usually gives darshan, from 11.30 a.m. to 12 -noon. Then we watched the puja to Chandramauleeswarar, being performed by His Holiness Sri Sankara Vijayendra Saraswati Swamigal. After the puja we got his blessings. Then we went to my nephew Chandru’s house in Kancheepuram. At about 4.30 p.m. we felt we should go back to the Math, thinking that perhaps we may be lucky to have Periyaval’s darshan that evening. Well Informed persons told us that was quite unlikely. At about 5.30 p.m., we were told that Periaval would give darshan for some minutes. It would have been enough for us but we had fifteen minutes of peaceful darshan. A Swamigal who was standing by the side of Periaval came to me and told that as part of the birth centenary celebrations of Periaval, a souvenir would be published containing accounts by persons who had been closely associated with Periaval and suggested that I should write about my experiences with Periaval for the souvenir. I did not know this Swamiji earlier. Later I learnt that he is called Mettur Swamigal.
When I heard the phrase, ‘Your experiences with Periaval’, my thoughts travelled back in time to a night in the year 1957 at Orikkai Village, a night in which I had my most unforgettable experience my VISHVARUPADARSHAN OF PERIAVAL. It was a busy day for him. Around 9 p.m. he asked his regular assistants to go back to Chinna Kancheepuram and told only Sundararaman should be here.” One of the assistants told him, ‘Sundararaman has not eaten, “ to which Periaval replied, ‘He must have by now become used to skipping his meals.” I had no say. Than he sat in the middle of the Inner yard. There was only the dim moon light. He asked me “ Do you know my early story?” I replied ‘I don’t know, even a bit.” (hen followed a narration for about thirty minutes. My memory is still fresh though I am not sure of the year or the date. It could have been a day in 1958, during a college vacation. Even after nearly thirty four years, I remember the Important points of his narration. It has been sold by Spiritual Masters that ‘Truth never changes with passage of time, nor does one’s experience.” I would be damned if I misrepresent or falsify or exaggerate my experiences with Periaval.
All my conversations with Periaval and others mentioned in this article were in Tamil, but I have done the translation with extreme care. The main points of his narration about his early story, had been imprinted in my mind.
When he become the Head of the Kanchi Kamakoti Peetham at the age of thirteen, he soon found that the Math was in disorder. Workers in the Math were not serious about anything. The Math was in debt. The people managing the lands of the Math were not giving even the minimum of the produce from the lands. Not enough devotees were coming forward to meet the daily expenses of the Math. Then he narrated about his first All India trip. With lot of emotions, he mentioned about the various difficulties he had to experience during this trip. During this trip, he said he had a very good understanding of India and of her then problems. He breezed through the British Raj, Mahatma Gandhi and Freedom Movement. I was deeply touched when he expressed his deep feelings for Mother India. (From my experiences I came to regard him as one of the most patriotic and greatest Indians). To stop him from this somewhat sad narration, I told him humorously, ‘Your situation when you became the Peethadhipati seems to be worse than my present situation.” But he continued, ‘Nowadays people write eulogizing me and our Math. They don’t seem to know my -difficult Initial years. Nobody writes about my difficult times. When you will have a chance to write about me, mention especially about my difficult initial years,” -he said concluding his narration. I did not expect the least that the conversation would end like this. I told Periaval immediately; ‘Periaval is now playing with me and teasing me. I GM nothing. I will never have a chance to write about anything, certainly not about you.” Preparing to take his bath, he said, “You are certainly going to write and I am certainly going to see.” After his both and short meditation, he told me, “You must be feeling hungry; I have forced you to eat in six houses, one day a week in each house. I know you don’t like this arrangement. But I want to see that you complete your University education successfully. When you are hurrying to your class, if in the day of the house food was not ready, you would go to the class without eating, I am sure. That is why I told earlier that you must have by now become used to skipping you meals.” He asked me to eat the rice flakes. I waited for him to begin eating first. But he asked me to eat and after seeing that I had eaten some handfuls he ate. I was completely dazed. While I was eating the rice flakes, I was simply staring at his radiant face with penetrating eyes. I had a distinct feeling that I was seeing in his face the entire world of the compassionate Almighty. I thought He was giving me VISHVARUPADARSHAN. This is probably the best way I can describe this experience.
After this, he went on a long spell of meditation. Keeping vigil, I was wondering myself, why and on what he was meditating so intensely, Ever since that night his sentences, ‘I always remember my difficult years and You are certainly going to write and I am certainly going to see’ have been ringing in my ears, and, I have been asking myself: Will I ever be able to Pay him back for those rice flcikes9 I have . not understood him completely, On my return flight from Madras to New York on 23rd Jan.’93, I was thinking about the suggestion of Mettur Swamigal. For about eight hours of the twenty six hours of travel, I ‘relived’ in all my experiences with Periaval, during the years 1952 to 1967. 1 decided, while the plane was flying high above the Atlantic Ocean, ‘I am certainly going to write.” On reaching home, I started to write. I was all alone in my house. Only Ramani’s flute and Lalgudi Jayaraman’s violin were playing in the room. Where should I start? I though I should start from my most unforgettable experience, my VISHVARUPADARSHAN of , HIM, as described above. I know If he decides, He will certainly see what I have written here.
What follows is quite personal. in end readers would see certainly the role of Periaval in my life. Certainly I did not do anything to deserve his grace Readers will find that I have not written anything about Periyaval’s greatness as a top man in Spirituality, in Philosophy, in Religion and Social Reform.
I had the privilege of close association with Periaval for nearly fifteen years from 1952 to 1967, very close especially during my student days from 1952 to 1960. 1 was a voluntary assistant to him during my vacation days. People in the Math and visitors envied me for Periyaval’s affection towards me. I enjoyed this!
Why did Periaval shower his affections on me?, -then a poor college boy. What did I do to deserve his Kataksham? it is heart breaking to note that, even after I left him, abruptly many years ago and even when I have been quite far off, he continues to bless me. In 1985 when I was living in Mexico city, one day, I received a letter from my nephew Chandru living in Kancheepuram, after several months of his silence. The day before he wrote that letter, he had gone to have darshan of Periaval. As usual there were many visitors and assistants. Suddenly, out of context, (as per this letter.) Periaval posed a riddle to his assistants and visitors: “I had a person Intensely in my mind, He flew away. Who is he?”
na[f otftA[ m[salf niA[Et[f. `v[f pbnfT Epayfvidfda[f. yaaf `v[f?
These are precisely the sentences in Tamil. Even after haft an hour of mutual consultations, no one could solve the riddle, even guess. Periaval himself solved It: “Sundararaman, that son of Duraiswamy.” According to my nephew, no one knew why Periaval should refer to me on that day”. When I finished reading the letter, believe me my heart almost stopped and I wept. There was no one in the house except myself. It is a wonder even today to me, why I did not collapse. When my wife returned from shopping she asked me why my face looked quite pale, as though hit by a devil. I showed her the letter from Chandru. On reading it, she said calmly it was only a very good omen, and said: “it is only natural for Periaval to think about you, since you have been thinking about him always.”
Yes, I have carried my thoughts about him wherever I had been wandering all these past twenty five years, or in whichever country I was sojourning…… I have not found peace within myself. The dominating thoughts have always been, now foolish I must have been in leaving him, and his presence and how I missed a golden opportunity for salvation in this life itself, Any other person If he had the same experiences as I had with Periaval, he would not have left him for anything in this world. But it is ironical that I have not been that eager these years to meet him. I am even afraid of seeing him face to face. I live and would like to continue to live with my pleasant and unforgettable memories of Periaval of the years 1952 to 1967.
An opportunity to write about myself and about Periyaval’s role in my life arose in 1967, when I applied to Columbia University, New York, for Doctoral Studies in mathematics and to the Fulbright Foundation in India for travel grant. As part of the application procedures, I was asked to submit a brief autobiographical sketch. I reproduce below the second paragraph from a copy of the sketch that I have.
“My family was so poor that I could not dream of University education at that time. However, a turning point in my life took place when Jagadguru Sri Sankaracharya Swamigal of Kanchi Kamakoti Math was very much impressed by my sincere desire to pursue University education. With His Blessings and financial help, University education was possible for me. But for His Holiness’ encouragement, I could not have had higher education and the need for writing this would not have arisen.”
What I wrote then in 1967, applies even more now in 1993. That I am writing this article goes as a fulfillment of his emphatic prediction: ‘You are certainly going to write’.
I remember nothing pleasant of my first twelve years of life, except for 3 celebration in my village when India became Independent in 1947. Around 1950, my parents lived in a village called T.Kulathoor, my mother’s birthplace and Kodiyur, a village about five miles from Kulathoor, is my father’s native place. My mother got married to my father when she was five years old. My father moved to Kulathoor few years after his marriage. My mother, being the only daughter of her father, Sundaresa Iyer, received from her father several acres of agricultural land. My father, after loosing several jobs because of his bad temper, became an acting village maniakkarar ( village munsif ) in the nearby twin villages, called Mettukkuppam-Pavandur. When the hereditary heir-minor become of age, my father lost this job too. Then he become permanently a Vakil Gumasta, taking the cases of the illiterate village folk to the advocates of Tirukkollur and Cuddalore. The village folk were good natured and they settled most of their cases at the village Panchayat itself. My father’s income became almost nil. Each year my mother kept on selling her lands, acre by acre. By the year 1950, my family situation was hopeless. My two elder sisters were married off earlier. I had (have) an younger sister and an elder brother. My father tried his best to have my elder brother Ganapathy complete his high school education in Tirukkollur. But my brother showed no serious interest in education and he ran away from home in 1951. After my elementary school education in the village, I had to remain idle for a year or so. Around 1949-50, Periaval was camping in our village. As per my mother’s version, on knowing the status of my parents, Periaval blessed me saying, “This boy would bring happiness and prosperity to you and to your family.” I never believed her. Later events, proved the truth of her words. My parents left our village by 1951 and joined the Math, at some camp near Mayavaram in Tanjore district.
My eldest brother-in-law, Mr., A. Venkataraman (no more now) was one of the three or four who had completed high school education. After teacher’s training, he become a good and popular teacher, in 1951, in Kancheepuram. I studied my seventh standard in his school, staying with him and my sister. The next year he was transferred to Chithalingamadam, where I studied in the eighth standard. There I came Into contact with an unusual Swamigal, called Jñãnanda, living in a house just opposite to the school. He was aloof most of the times. Only very rarely, he had visitors. After school hours every evening I used to spend at least an hour with him. He used to call me affectionately, “Sundaram, speak with me and give me some sweets and fruits every evening. He was like a grand-father to me. Nobody there know anything about his past. Few years earlier, he had come to that village from somewhere. He used to tell me some stories. I became quite attracted to him. After a few years, he moved to Arakandanallur, near Tirukkoilur, where he became quite famous. He is no more now. I am writing about this Swamiji here because it is he who told me first, even as I was very young, that, “Periaval is a walking God; He is not just the head of a Math; people would soon realize the true nature of Periaval.” Jñãnanda had also told me, whenever I was in a dejected mood, “Periaval will protect you and your family.”
After nearly eight months of joining the Math, my father wrote a letter to me saying that Periaval enquired about me and wanted me to study in a High School. I was excited by the prospect of going to a High School. On reading the letter, I thought Jñãnanda’s prediction was coming true. After my E.S.L.C examination and after bidding farewell to Jñãnanda, I appeared before Periaval in April 1952, at Anandatandavapurom near Mayavaram. Periaval asked me, “You are going to study in High School are you not?” I replied that I was eager but did not know how and where. Then Periaval asked my mother to set up family in Chidambaram. At this point I would like to emphasize that even though neither my parents nor I had any idea, much less a plan, for my higher education, Periaval had already a complete plan in his mind as it looked to me in retrospect.
I joined the Ramaswamy Chettair High School in Chidambaram. I did excellently in my studies. I used to visit Periaval during my vacation. I was some sort of an assistant in handing out and mailing prasadams to devotees, in reading to Periaval the daily Newspapers, and such odd jobs. I wrote my S.S.L.C. examination in April 1955. By then Periaval had moved to Chinna Kancheepuram. He was often camping at nearby Sivasthanam and Orikkai. Immediately after the examination, I went to Kancheepuram and spent the next two months with him. When my results appeared in The Hindu in June 1956, I happily reported to Periaval. The next day when he was going to the Polar river, he asked me to follow him. I was standing near him in the waters of the river when he was about to have a dip. By then a large number of devotees had gathered on the bank of the river. Then followed a discussion between him and me for about fifteen minutes, which changed my entire life. It is then and there I received my GEETOPADESAM from him.
“Now that you have passed your S.S.L.C. examinations what are you going to do?,” he asked me. My father, two months earlier, had underwent hernia operation. His condition was foremost in my mind. I replied to Periaval that I was thinking of taking up a job and take care of my parents. With an enchanting smile he said, “You seem to think that you have answered my question intelligently,” and looked straight at me. I thought he would approve of my decision. Then raising his voice, he went on. “Your father was not created with the hope that you would take care of him. You seem to study well. Get as much of higher education as possible and equip yourself with maximum qualifications and take care of your life.” Then he took a dip in the river. I did not quite understand what he was trying to tell me. I asked “Does Periaval want me to study in a University?” “You seemed to have got the message,” quickly come forth the reply. With utmost desperation, I told him, “Now Periaval is playing with me and mocking at me; Periaval knows my circumstances. Even If I don’t have to take care of my parents, where will I go for the money needed for four or five years of higher education?” “I don’t like your attitude, always self pitying. Do you know how Hanuman crossed the ocean?. You can achieve anything you want to If only you have self-confidence and faith and work hard towards your objective.” Instantly I remembered Lord Krishna’s everlasting GEETOPADESAM to his troubled disciple Arjuna. Meanwhile the visitors at the bank of the river were getting restless. Some complained too with-in my hearing, ‘That son of Duraiswamy has been engaging Periaval in some unnecessary arguments.” I didn’t want to get into trouble with them by taking more of their time, I started going back to the other bank of the river. But Periaval called me back and asked point-blank, “Do you have faith in me or not?” With tears pouting down to the river, I told Periaval. “I do have faith in you.” “Then, go and get the application from Annamalai University.”, he commanded and dismissed me from his presence.
I rushed to Chinna Kancheepuram to tell my father of what happened to me at the Polar river. My father was more surprised than I was. He said that if I had faith in Periaval, I should do as Periaval wished. He added I am sorry I cannot be of much help to you, Then he went to do his Kainkaryam.
Only few days were left for sending the application. There was a hitch. My mark list had to be attested by a Gazetted Officer, as per the instructions. Frankly I did not know who a Gazetted Officer was. There was a visitor from Madras, an elderly orthodox looking person. I went to him, showed him my application form and asked him whether he knew of any Gazetted Officer. He said that he would very gladly attest my marks list. I hurriedly took back the application from him, stating that it had to be signed by a real Gazetted Officer. This person laughed loudly and asked me, “Don’t I look like a Gazetted Officer?” Then he introduced himself as a Chief Professor of the University of Madras. I was ashamed and apologized to him. He wished me well in my studies and attested my marks list. This incident was a big lesson to me. From that day onwards, I never judged a person by his or her appearance.
A few days after I sent my application, I received simultaneously the acknowledgment as well as the admission letter from Annamalai University. I rushed to Periaval who was engaged in a discussion with some visiting experts. I was hesitant to approach him at that time, He saw me, abruptly stopped his conversation and asked me, “You have received the admission letter, is It not?” I nodded my head. Then Periaval called one of the persons in the audience and asked him, “Are you not the Manager of the gold merchant, Rathnaswami Chettiar of Chidambaram? That person admitted It to be so. Will your Chettiar do something he can if I ask him to do?” Periaval asked that person. Chettiar is a great devotee of Periaval and he will do anything that Periaval bids, that person replied. I am not asking much; I am interested in this good boy; He has secured admission in your University. Ask your Chettiar to do the needful so that this boy joins the University, Periaval told that manager. The manager replied, It will be done. Then Periaval turned towards me and said, Your problem is solved; go and study well. Little later I met the manager of the Chettiar and told him that I expected that Mr. Chettiar would pay my first term tuition fees of Rupees 110/,. The manager said there would not be any problem and asked me to meet the Chettiar, as soon as I arrived at Chidambaram.
Now that my tuition fees has been arranged, I began to think about my boarding and lodging. Since I did not have the least Idea that I would be studying at Annamalai University and also because of my father’s operation, my mother shifted out family from Chidambaram to Chinna Kancheepuram. I did not want to ask Periaval explicitly about this at that time. Since I had already confided in him that I had faith in him, I thought, there was nothing else I could do. My second elder sister and her family were in Chidambaram. I thought I would stay with her few days till Periaval made arrangements for my boarding and lodging. I went to Chidambaram and met Mr. Rathnaswami Chettiar in his big gold shop. Mr. Chettiar said his manager had told him about me and asked me what I wanted from him. I told him I needed Rs.110/., to pay my tuition fees. Then Chettair said, “I don’t know how you misunderstood my manager; how can I give you Rs.110/, just like that? Do you have any land or house or jewelry as security so that I can lend you this amount?” I said that I had none of those. Then Chettiar said, “You have already got the admission. I won’t give you the money you ask.” His manager was not to be found anywhere in the shop. This was my first and most humiliating experience. My faith in Periaval got momentarily shattered. Why did Periaval subject me to this humiliating experience? I rushed to the Post Office and gave a telegram to the manager of the Math, “Inform Periaval that Chettiar is unwilling to give me the money for tuition fees. I await further Instructions.” Feeling completely helpless, I returned to my sister’s house returned via the West Gopuram and the North Gopuram of the famous Nataraja Temple. That morning Sri Ramakrishna Sastrigal, a learned man of the Math had come to my sister’s house. Ramakrishna Sastrigal greeted me. I did not even bother to acknowledge his presence. I went inside and laid down myself flat, upside down. Then the Sastrigal patted my back and said, “I like you very much”, to which I retorted “Yes! All you people like me because Periaval is kind to me; now this Periaval has completely let me down and I am completely humiliated.” “Don’t say a word against Periaval,” Sastrigal said, “Look at me, it is he who has sent me here with the money you need.” On hearing this, I looked at him angrily. He said, “You may get angry with me; don’t say a word against that Karunamurthy. After you left him and after his puja, he called me and said that he was worried about you as he was not sure whether Chettiar would give you the money. He asked me to go to the cashier of the Math and get Rs.110/. I got the, money. Then Periaval asked me to go over here taking the next available train. He asked me to observe the situation here and if the Chettiar has not given you the money, only then he asked me to tell you and give you the money. You are a blessed boy.” Handing out the money to me Sri Ramakrishna Sastrigal left for Kancheepuram. I became speechless, I regained my momentary loss of faith in Periaval. I thought this was one of the mysterious ways of his action.
I paid my tuition fees and joined the Annamalai University. The Manager of the Math thereafter kept on sending regularly my term fees for five years.
Two months later, one morning, Mr. Rathnaswami Chettiar come in his big car to my sister’s house looking for me. We were quite surprised to see him. Chettiar, with folded hands, told me, “I am sorry for my misbehavior when you came to see me in my shop. Some days ago, I went to Kancheepuram to have darshan of Periaval. He briefly mentioned about you and asked me whether I remembered you. in the presence of many devotees, he asked me how could I break the heart of a young boy sent by him. I could not open my mouth. All along I thought I was very rich, but that day he made me look very poor in the presence of many people. After returning from Kancheepuram, I am coming straight here to see you and apologize to you. I will bear your entire educational expenses, Please accept”. I could not believe this happening. But I did not loose my head. I told him politely, “I was with Periaval ten days back. I would be going again the following week. If Periaval asks me to meet you, I will come and see you in your shop.” Chettiar left saying, “I hope, you will come and see me soon.”
Two weeks before the above visit of Mr. Chettiar, I had an unexpected visitor with very good news. It was Thiru Murugesanar, one of my Tamil teachers in my high school. I was quite surprised to see him, He was a member of the rationalist atheist group. I greeted Thiru Murugesanar with due respects. Murugesanar said, “You know, I am a strict follower of Periar; even though I have some Brahmin friends, I don’t go to a Brahmin’s house. I have come to congratulate you; you have brought name and fame to our school; you have stood first in the entire Madras State in the Tamil examination of the S.S.L.C final examinations; I just learnt that there is another student in another town, who has scored exactly the some marks as you have secured. The Dharmapuram Adheenam had instituted since few years back, a cash prize of Rupees 300/- to be awarded to the student who stands first in Tamil in the S.S.L.C examination of each year. They have given a telegram to our Head Master, asking a representative to be sent to the Adheenam’s office in Madras. They are going to decide, on the basis of a lottery, to whom the prize money should go. You know I don’t care much about these Adheenams But I am going to represent you at the Adheenam.” With a smile Murugesanar said, “I, a staunch follower of Periar, am going to represent you, a devout follower of Acharyar”. My sister and I felt jubilant. Murugesanar was about to leave. I thanked him and asked him whether he would drink a cup of milk in a Brahmin’s house. Murugesanar replied, “Our relationship is teacher-student relationship; nothing else matters now; I will gladly drink on this happy occasion.” Murugesanar drank the milk and left. Three days later Head Master, Velayudam Pillai sent a school boy to tell me the news that I had won Rupees 300/-. The next day there was a small celebration in the school, when my name was entered in a new honor Role Board and I was awarded the cash prize.
After getting rich, unexpectedly, with Rupees 300, I rushed to Chinna Kancheepuram to report to Periaval. He was camping in nearby Sivasthanam. I did my usual namaskarams. I placed the three hundred rupees in a bamboo plate before him. He seemed to be quite surprised and looked at me. Proudly, I told him of my big award. “I am very happy to hear this,” he said. “’What did the Chettiar tell you when you went to him for Rs.110?,” Periaval asked me immediately, I told him briefly what happened to me at the Chettiar’s shop, since Ramakrishna Sastrigal would have told him the details. “You see the mysterious ways in which Bhagavan acts,” Periaval remarked. I said to myself, “I don’t know any Bhagavan but you.” “So, you rushed to tell me the good news, place your money before me and take it back!,” he said smilingly. I kept my mouth shut. He continued, “You must have already thought of a plan as to how to spend it.” I told him I was going to pay Rs.100/- to a doctor in Kancheepuram as fees for the forthcoming cataract operation of my mother and I was going to buy a second hand bicycle for Rs.100/-, “Still you are rich, left with Rs.100,” Periaval remarked humorously, gave me prasadam and asked me to return to Chidambaram. The simple and serene Sivasthanam temple has always attracted me. After taking leave of Periaval, I went to do my ‘pradakshinams’ in the Siva temple. At the end of my first pradakshinam, I saw a young orthodox Iyengar, standing at the entrance of the temple and shouting, “There is a rich man here and Periaval. wants to see him.” There were about forty visitors at that time and nobody responded. The young Iyengar returned to Periaval. At the end of my second pradakshinam, I saw the same person, shouting as before. Nobody responded and the Iyengar returned to Periaval. After the third pradakshinam, I went inside the temple to witness the ‘camphor harati’ and came out. By then the same Iyengar was then heard shouting more definitely, “There is a rich man here with exactly three hundred rupees and Periaval wants him.” It was now quite clear to me. I rushed to Periaval in the hut. I was wondering what was in store for me. With an enchanting smile, he asked me, “Are you the rich man, I have been looking for?” I humbly replied, “I have three hundred rupees at this moment.” Periaval said, “Will you give me thirty rupees?” I placed all the three hundred rupees in the bamboo plate before him. He said, “I just want thirty rupees.” Then I left thirty rupees in the plate and took the remaining amount. Then pointing out to me the young Iyengar, Periaval said, -You have won this money for your expertise in Tamil; this young man wants to earn his living by teaching Sanskrit; he wants to prepare himself for this by passing some private examinations in Sanskrit. Tomorrow seems be the last day for paying his examination fees. He asked me to give thirty rupees. Then I remembered you. With your own hands, give these thirty rupees to this scholar in Sanskrit,” Periaval concluded. I did as I was told and left. The Sanskrit scholar came out of the hut to thank me. I told him we should all know whom to thank! I returned to Chidambaram.
After the visit of Mr. Chettiar, that week end, rushed to Chinna Kancheepuram to report to Periaval. I told Periaval about Chettiar’s meeting with me in my sister’s house and about, his offer to me. Periaval asked me, “Did Chettiar himself come to your house and apologize to you?” “Yes, he did”, I replied. Periaval went silent for a few minutes. Then he said, “I was somewhat harsh with Chettiar, when he came to see me. He regrets now, what he did to you when you went to see him. But, you see, the mistake is not entirely Chettiar’s. I should have told his manager explicitly what I wanted the Chettiar to do for you. Certainly he should not have asked you whether you had lands or house or jewellery. If you had any of these, I would not have sent you to him. Now that Chettiar is willing to take care of all your expenses, what do you want to do?”, Periaval asked me. I replied, “I don’t feel like accepting anything from Mr. Chettiar.” “You seem to be still angry with him; he made a mistake and repents for it what else you want him to do?. He is also one of my devotees; if you don’t accept anything from him after all this, he is going to feel terribly bad and I don’t want that to happen,” Periaval said. Then Periaval asked me how much I needed for my monthly pocket expenses and I replied that not more than rupees ten would be needed. Then Periaval proposed a compromise, quite fair to both of his devotees, that I should get from Mr. Chettiar rupees ten every month, ten months a year until the completion of my studies. I returned to Chidambaram and told Mr. Chettiar what Periaval wanted. me to do. Thereafter, every month I used to go to Chettiar’s shop to receive ten rupees. On these occasions Chettiar used to make brief enquiries about Periaval and about my education, I knew precisely to whom he was showing his respects. In all, I had received about Rs. 460/- from Mr. Chettiar.
After these arrangements for my tuition fees and ‘pocket expenses’, I was wondering what Periaval was going to do for my boarding and lodging. I thought there were only three choices for Periaval. He could ask my mother to set up family again in Chidambaram, or He could ask me to continue to stay in my sister’s house in Chidambaram or He could ask me to stay in the University hostel. Little did I know that meanwhile, Periaval had been making a radically different plan.
A week after I returned from Kancheepuram, an unknown couple, in their fifties, came to see me in my sister’s house in Chidambaram. They introduced themselves as Mr. and Mrs. Swaminatha Iyer. They said they had just returned from Kancheepuram after having darshan of Periaval. Then Lakshmi mami, Mrs. Swaminatha Iyer, said that when they were about to take leave of Periaval, Periaval said, “I am Interested in a boy, who has just joined the University in your town; If you give him boarding and lodging, it would be your biksha to me.” I replied Immediately, “We would take care of that boy very gladly for the entire duration of his studies.” But Periaval added a condition that we should provide boarding and lodging only for one day a week, for the duration of studies. We reluctantly agreed; we are not blessed with children. We thought we were going to have a boy all to ourselves. Periaval also asked us to tell our two neighbours Pattammal and Kokila that Periaval wanted each of them to provide the boy with boarding and lodging, one day a week, for his period of education. Pattammal and her husband Duraiappa are great devotes of Periaval. We told Pattammal and Kokila what Periaval wanted them to do. They are immensely pleased. We got your address from the Math and have come to invite you to our house.” I become quite embarrassed. I cannot now adequately describe what were my feelings then on hearing this story. I thought that the mysterious Periaval was watching the whole proceedings. I was deeply touched. I Immediately prostrated before the venerable couple. I told them that Periaval never even hinted to me of such an arrangement for me and that I would come to them, only after seeing Periaval. They left reluctantly, saying, please give us the happiness of having you in our house. My sister Meenakshi and I, both, got quite confused by the turn of events. Before I could have time to think about the couple and their proposition, the next day, an elderly looking diminutive man came to see me. He said he was a medical doctor and that he had just returned from Kancheepuram after visiting Periaval. Then he told me exactly the same story, as told, the previous day, by Mr. and Mrs. Swaminatha Iyer; that he and his brother, timber-merchant, Mahalinga Iyer were staunch devotees of Periaval and that it would be their great privilege to give me boarding and lodging, one day a week in each of their houses. I thanked him and told him that I would come to see him, after visiting Periaval. Then I went to my classes. When I returned, I saw a young man waiting for me. He introduced himself as Sundaresan, the second son of Katcheri street Rajam mami. He said for his mother there was no other God other than Periaval and that she had just returned from Kancheepuram, after having darshan of her God. Then Sundaresan told me the exact story, as told earlier by Mr. and Mrs. Swaminatha Iyer. Sundaresan said his mother was anxiously waiting to meet me and was looking forward to having me in their house once a week. I told that University student, Sundaresan, that I would see his mother after visiting Periaval. It was becoming too much for me to make out anything. Before another visitor showed up with a similar story, I wanted to visit Periaval. I took the night train to Kancheepuram. The next morning, I waited for Periaval to finish his morning ‘anushtanams’. Then I appeared, before him and did my namaskarams. I did not say anything, when he looked at me: Periaval was silent for a couple of minutes and then said. “So, except for one day in a week, your weekly boarding and lodging have been arranged.” I did not respond and stood still. He continued, “You seem to be not quite enthusiastic about my arrangement.” Again I did not utter a word. May be you think it would be a humiliating experience. Each of the persons, who came and saw you, is a great devotee of me; you will be a royal guest in their homes. I continued my silence. He went on “You are an expert in Tamil; you must have known the famous Poetess Aauvayaar’s saying, I “Getting educated is good; Getting educated is good, even if one has to beg.” If you think that my arrangement is some sort of a begging, I tell you, you did not beg; I did the begging for you”. Without my realizing it, tears welled up in my eyes. When I went to Periaval, I was not sure whether I would accept his arrangement, because I considered that it would be quite a humiliating experience. But when the God Himself told me, “You did not beg; I did the begging for you,” I all my ego in me got evaporated instantly. With tears flooding my eyes, I did my sashtanga namaskarams and told him, I do accept your arrangement for me. In order not to make my God beg another person for the missing day of my weekly meals, I told Periaval that I would eat one day a week in my sister’s house. I could not stand before him any more because of my emotion. I was leaving, but he called me and asked point-blank, Did you accept my arrangement for you, because I did it, or because you want somehow to compete your higher education? it is because of both , I said and left.
From that day onwards, I decided that I will not subject my Periaval to do anything for me. Even in my prayers to him, I never sought any benefit for me or for my family . He had blessed me even when I was a very young boy.
Let me continue my story. My Experiences with the six families were like a royal guest, as Periaval said. Soon I became an affectionate member of each of these families. Contrary to what Periaval was afraid, I did not have to skip even a single meal. A gentle and benevolent widow Sundaram mami (sister of Shri Neelakanta Iyer of B.G. Paul & Co) took care of my book expenses each year. Annamalai University also awarded me a Merit-cum Means Scholarship of the value of Rs.150/- per year. My higher studies progressed without any problem. When I was in the second year of studies, my sister Meenakshi and her husband Ramamoorthy also joined the Math. From the very beginning, I was completely overpowered by Pattamal’s affection for me. After two years, I stayed with her permanently during the rest of my course and a couple of months more when I became a Lecturer in the Annamalai University. The other families rightly understood Pattamal’s overpowering influence on me and my decision to stay with her. Duraiappa’s younger brother’s only son. Natarajan was also studying in the same University. We became very good friends.
After my final B.Sc. Hons. examinations in April 1960, I spent the next two months with Periaval. He was then camping at Tiruchirapalli in the National High School campus. When there, every night he was delivering a lecture. I spent time in understanding these lectures. I would like to mention one of my most moving experiences of this period. One morning, I went to a barber’s shop opposite to the National High School for my hair cut. As we all know, while doing their jobs, barbers usually talk a lot about Interesting things, about politicians and film stars in particular, to keep their customers from being bored. While doing his job, this barber asked where I was from and why I was there in Tiruchi. I told him that I was from Chidambaram and that I had come to pay my respects to the Samiar, camping in the school, opposite to his shop. Then the barber said, “We all barbers here are followers of Periar E.V.R.”. I felt a little uneasy. I had a tuft and his knife was on my head! He continued, “I have always thought that all samiars are bogus and hypocrites. But this Samiar seems to be different.” I become less nervous and asked him why he thought so. He replied, “Every day, he goes by this street; for the first few days, I did not even look at him; then one morning, I was, face to face with him just in front of my shop. His face looked quite innocent and his eyes were sparkling, Suddenly there was a tingling sensation all over my body. Without my realizing it, my hands got raised taking the form of showing respect. With difficulty, controlled myself and brought my hands down. I told this incident to my barber friends. They also said that this Samiar seemed to, be genuine. We all decided that we would not cause any harm to the persons who came to see this Samiar. So, you don’t have to be afraid of us,” he assured me, finishing his job. This incident has been ever fresh in my memory. Around 2 p.m. that day, I ran accidentally to the backyard of the school. I was not supposed to see him on that day, because of my haircut. Persons, after having a shave should not move out where Periaval was or see him. I thought the backyard of the school was a safe place. I turned around so as not to face him. But he called and said, “I have finished my biksha; it seems you had today a nice shaving.” After making sure there was no Math-official around, I faced Periaval and said, “Yes, Periaval is right.” Did your barber entertain you with some nice stories?,” Periaval asked humorously. I replied very seriously, “On the contrary, my barber talked to me about Spirituality; and he even praised you” Then I narrated to him the talk of the barber. Periaval was silent for a few minutes. Then he said, and I quote quite translating what he said in Tamil; “Sometimes, I have wondered whether all my meditations and prayers have produced any effect on society. From what you said just now, It seems they have not gone waste.” Then he went inside. I said to myself, “Your meditations and prayers have indeed produced and will continue to produce desirable changes in all persons in the society”.
Now, I go back in time a few years. It was an important occasion for me, but I don’t remember the exact timing. I was spending a summer with him. One day at Orikkai, he suddenly asked, “I see you are not invested with the sacred thread; why is it?” I replied that my mother had been telling my father about this and that my father had been telling her that he had not saved enough money for my I ‘upanayanam’ function. I quote below what Periaval said in his thought provoking lecture to me:
“I am quite unhappy about present Brahmin community. They have converted purely sacred and simple functions like ‘upanayanam’ into social melas. They waste lot of money on unnecessary things, like silk sarees and coffee-drinking. They don’t pay attention to the main part of the function. I don’t mind, even though I don’t approve of it, if the rich people spend their money showing off their wealth. But, the trouble is the poor try to imitate the rich. They borrow beyond their means to conduct simple functions such as ‘Upanayanam’. They postpone the performance of the ‘upanayanam’ which has to be done at the right age. Actually, the money needed for the celebration of ‘upanayanam’ is quite modest. Boys remain without the sacred thread until the days before their wedding.
He stopped abruptly and was silent. Then raising his voice, he said angrily, “Why, I talk about others? You, yourself, are standing before me, showing your bare chest to me, I did not observe this before!” I, got really afraid. I tried to leave. But Periaval commanded, “Go and bring your father here and bring also a ‘panchangam’, My father appeared before Periaval, leaving his work in the middle. While looking at the ‘panchangam’, Periaval told my father, “This is a good month for performing ‘upanayanam’ of this son of yours, who is standing here showing his bare chest to me.” My father attempted to say something. But Periaval intervened and told him, “Don’t tell me that you have not saved enough money and there is no time to invite your relatives. The Sastrigals in the Math can be asked to help you to perform the ‘upanayanam’, you can pay them whatever you can afford and you can take the necessary provisions from the ‘ugranam’ of the Math. Apart from the boy, his mother and you, no relatives are necessary for this function”. My father said, Periaval has already assigned to me preparing of the ‘neivedyam’ on the next Thursday.” Periaval replied, “You will be doing it without fail and you will also be performing the ‘upanayanam’ of your son on that day. The function should take place exactly at this place in this cow-shed. The cows should not be disturbed. You do the ‘poorvangams’ very early in the morning. Then go and prepare the ‘neivedyam’ to Chandramauleeswarar. By the time, I start my puja, you come back to continue the activities here. Now you go back to finish your work”, he concluded, dismissing my father from his presence. I disappeared with my father. I went to Chinna Kancheepuram to report to my mother. She was happy and unhappy at the same time. She was unhappy because there was not much time to invite all her relatives and there was not enough money to celebrate the function in a grand manner.
No relatives were invited and no new clothes were bought. The upanayanam function was in progress, exactly as per the plan of Periaval, in the cow-shed. There appeared a very good looking couple, each with a big bamboo-plate in their hands. The nadaswara vidwans of the Math were standing before this couple, playing music. At once, I recognized them. My parents and I knew them. They were Nangavaram Sundararaja Iyer and his wife. Then Sundararaja Iyer spoke: “We came yesterday evening and appeared before Periaval. Then we learnt from Periaval that, one in whom Sri Periaval had taken much interest is to have Brahmopadesam today” and presented my parents and myself with new clothes and flowers, fruits, sugar candy etc. They remained till the end of the function. When Periyaval was a doing candana-abhishekam in the adjoining hall (separated by a thick wall), exactly at that time, my upanayanam muhoortham took place. My parents and I waited in the cow-shed for Periyaval to finish his puja. Periyaval came straight to the cow-shed where we were. We hurriedly did our namaskarams. He took a fruit from the plate and gave it to me and bade us all eat at the general samaradhanai saying that “it will be the kalayanam meals.”
Starting with such an upanayanam function, any mentally sound person would be doing his Sandhyavandanams regularly for the rest of his life. This wretched writer deserves to be damned for this omission. I have been reciting the ‘Gayatri Mantram’, at odd times in odd places. Perhaps this will save me.
There have been many occasions when I felt completely distressed, I thought I would throw away my poonal (sacred thread), wrapping my chest like a serpent. What prevented me from doing this was, that I remembered the circumstances of my unique upanayanam function. Perhaps, Periyaval himself suspected that I would one day (of would have already) throw (thrown) away my poonal. I visited Periyaval in July 1986, after nearly six years, while on a brief visit to India from Mexico. One evening, my wife and I went to Kancheepuram. The next day was the day of ‘avani avittam’, a day in which, after purificatory ceremonies, a male adorns new poonal, discarding the old one. I had my new poonal in a group ceremony held at the Math. That afternoon, we had darshan of Periyaval. Paattu Ramamoorthy was by the side of Periyaval. He introduced saying, “Duraiswamy Iyer’s son Sundararaman and his wife have come from Mexico; they are doing namaskarams to Periyaval.” Periyaval looked at us and asked Paattu Ramamoorthy by gestures, whether I was wearing poonal. (I said within myself, “I am not standing before you, showing my bear-chest.”) Paattu Ramamoorthy replied to Periyaval, “Yes , he is wearing.” Then Periyaval gestured to him, whether I had changed my poonal that day. Ramamoorthy replied, “Yes, he has done so in the group sravanam in the Math, I saw it.” Then Periyaval gave us prasadams. I decided that day, “I will never throw away my poonal, however imperfect I am and have been, and under no circumstances.” The next week, we went to Los Angeles, my new place of job at the University of California.
Presently I am retracing to the years from 1956 to 1960, – to the periods of vacation.
On one occasion I took leave of Periyaval staying in Chinna Kancheepuram, went to my house and put on newly washed shirt and dhoty. I was about to leave for the Railway Station. I remembered that I had not taken leave of my father. I hurried to the Math, removed my shirt, held it on my left hand, saw my father working in the backyard and took leave of him. My father said, “Periyaval is sitting near the well, all alone, go and do namaskarams and then leave”. I told my father that I had already taken leave of Periaval. My father said, “Nothing will be lost If you do your namaskarams to him once more.” Reluctantly, I went near the well. Periyaval was sitting with legs stretched out and eyes half-closed. It looked to me as though he was about to sleep. There was a pool of muddy water between his legs and the place where I was standing. I had to do my namaskarams. I carefully put my shirt on a high raised stone (meant for washing clothes), carefully bent myself with the toes of my legs and fingers of my hands touching the clean parts of the ground. I did this exercise four times. I was about to leave, without making any noise. Suddenly Periyaval laughed and asked me what I did just then. I replied that I did my namaskarams to Periyaval. “Really, I thought you did your namaskarams to your clean and white veshti (dhoti)”, said Periaval. I knew I was caught red-handed. He continued somewhat angrily, “Why this hypocrisy? Did I ever ask you to do namaskarams to me?” I rolled over the slushy and muddy pool at drainage water several times, with a feeling of doing ‘anga pradakshinam’ (as devotees do, in the holy prakaram in the temple of Lord Venkateswara in Tirupati.) “Stop, Stop, It is enough. You have completely ruined your clean and white veshti; I hope you have an alternate veshti for changing; go home, take a bath, dress up and run to the station to catch your train”, Periyaval said. I did not utter a word; I felt as though. my tongue was pierced through by a big needle. I thought just then, ‘I was, completely exposed and severely whipped publicly. Earlier my father said without knowing what was in store for me?, “Nothing will be lost if you do your namaskarams to him one more time.” But I came out of the Math with a feeling as though I lost all my hypocrisy.
It is well known to people who have had associations with Periyaval that Periaval found time, amidst his busy schedule of activities, to learn about what was going on in the world at large. Devotees were one source of information, and daily newspapers in Tamil and English another. In regard to Judgment of these, he made his own analysis and judgment. One day, after biksha, he was reading the Tamil daily Swadesamitran. There was a report about the devastating effects of radiation on people living in and around the cities of Hiroshima and Nagasaki in Japan. The report detailed the effects on those unfortunate people, even 15 years after the nuclear attacks on the two cities. The report started in the first page with a bold heading and was continued in a particular column, in a particular page.
But the report was not continued in the column of the page mentioned, perhaps it was a printer’s devil. We were three or four around him there. Periaval asked us to find out where exactly the report had been continued. My friends spent each about five minutes and told Periyaval they could not locate the page. They were just looking for the heading. When my turn come, I read the report from its very beginning and looked for its logical continuation in other pages. I found the continuation in the lost but one page. With a sense of discovery, I told Periyaval, that “I had found it”. “It is in that particular page and in that particular column, is it not?”, Periyaval said, shattering my feeling of discovery. He said, he had already read the full report. To assuage my feelings he began to call me ‘Discoverer of Atom Bomb’, for the duration of the visit. The main point in this particular experience is the concern he expressed then for the affected Japanese people, it was quite moving. The moral concerns he expressed, in a chain of questions, got imprinted in my mind. ‘What is an atom bomb? Why scientists hail this as one of the greatest Inventions of modern science? What was the world-context when this terrible Invention was made? What sort of problems can one imagine that would arise If these mass-killer weapons proliferate? What is the use of Science without moral consideration? After each question, he paused and finally after the lost question, he went into a long silence. With some scientific background, I could understand the depth of these questions. By the way, contrary to what some might think, Periyaval was (at least the Periyaval I knew of those years) was all for scientific research and development, especially in the context of India. But on the nuclear issue, he had very definite views. He was for a Nuclear Weapons Free World.
After my college-studies, I became a lecturer in Mathematics in the Annamalai University in June 1960, with strong recommendations from my esteemed professors V. Ganapathy Iyer and G. Sankaranaryanan. There was a problem, though. As per the rules of the University teachers of the University who had tuft (‘kudumi’) must wear turbans to cover their heads, when they teach. I though it was total nonsense. I protested to my Professor V. Ganapathy Iyer. He said there was no use in fighting. I could disobey, If I did not care about my job for the next year. The trouble was the then as Vice-Chancellor Mr. Narayanaswami Pillai himself was wearing urban, even though he had cropped head. It was one of the vestiges of the British Raj, I suppose. I needed the job very badly. With the help of two advocates, of Chidambaram, I learnt to prepare and wear a turban. I now realized the significance of Adi Sankara’s Bhaja Govindam, especially the line,” ‘Udara nimitiam bahukrita vesham.’ I had lot of dense and unwieldy hair. To confine them inside a turban was a sort of mathematical packing-problem. I must have looked quite funny, for I knew students were laughing behind me. One morning I arranged the family barber to shave off all the hair in my head. Much reluctantly, he did a fine job. Later the kudumi was transformed into crop. My mother came from Kancheepuram. She was so angry with me that she did not even speak to me. I did not have the will power to face the world. A feeling of guilt had become part of me. I thought I would punish myself by not seeing Periaval for one full year, I did not visit him from September 1960 to August 1961. After a year of unbearable mental restlessness, I got bold and decided that I would go and see him. Did he not already tell me, good or bad , anyone can visit him? I went. He did not talk to me, Then I began to visit frequently. He began to talk, but not directly to me. What all he asked and all my replies were conveyed through one of the assistants by his side. It was quite a strange experience for me. But I was not discouraged; I kept on visiting him, whenever I had time. Finally, during a visit in June, 1962, he talked to me directly. He asked about my mother. (Since September 1960, I had established with my mother a family in Chidambaram. My father continued in the iron-grips of Periyaval). Then he asked about my job and how much I was able to save each month. After making sure that I was doing reasonably well, Periyaval asked me, “Will you give me biksha?” Tears from my eyes began to flood the ground and I actually wept. Periyaval asked me to compose myself. “Oh god, why is this? The God who begged for me, now asks me for biksha.”, I cried, and told him that I was at his feet. Then Periyaval told me, ‘There is a Mahavidwan in Karaikudi. I respect him very highly. He has a large family. One of his sons has got admission in M.Sc. in your University. The biksha I ask you to give is: Give this boy boarding and lodging in your home for two years.” I said with Periyaval’s blessings, I would gladly undertake this responsibility. Few days later, the young man Ramachandran came to see me in my house. Ramachandran was only a few years younger than me. We became very good friends. Ramachandran became a member of my family. Ramachandran is now a senior scientist in the Geological Survey of India. He lives in Madras. The Mahavidwan, his father, is no more. There ate many persons I know, whose lives have become enriched, in every sense of the word, by direct and Indirect associations with Periyaval.
I got married on June 30,1963. My wife Lakshmi and I went on a trip to a village (Narayanapuram?) near Madurai, where Periyaval was camping and got his blessings and I managed to get Periyaval’s permission to take my father from the Math to live with us.
My wife and I had the pleasure of both my father and mother living with us. By then, we shifted to a house at Annamalai Nagar, very near the campus of the University. We lived quite peacefully. In late 1966, I applied to Columbia University for my ‘higher studies’. I applied to the Fulbright Foundation for a travel grant. I got the Fellowship in April 1967 and the travel grant in late June 1967. My University refused to give me ‘Study Leave’. I did not hesitate to resign. I did not have time to go to Periyaval’s camp. I sent a letter and he sent me prasadam. I received my Ph.D. Degree from Columbia University in the city of New York in 1971. I remembered Periyaval’s Geetopadesam to me at the Palar river in 1955: “Get as much higher education as possible.” “I continue to be a student in Periyaval UNIVERSITY, where one learns by being eager and earnest, by patience and persistence, by hard work, by minute observations of people, by questions and answers, by stead-fast faith, by getting lost in silence and meditation and by being truthful, honest and humble always.”
I would like to end this article with my latest darshan of Periyaval on January 21, 1993.
After the wedding of my eldest son Guruprasad with Sow. Vidya on January 18,1993 at Tirupati, we wanted to visit Periyaval to have his darshan and to get his blessings. After performing Kalyana Utsavam to Lord Venkateswara on January 20,1993, we left Tirupathi in the morning of the next day for Kancheepuram, We wanted to start early. But I misplaced the keys of the rooms of the Guest House where we were staying. This caused delay. We could leave only around 9 a.m. I told the drivers of the taxis that we should reach Kancheepuram by 11 a.m. to be in time for Periyaval’s darshan. I assumed that Periyaval would give darshan that day! We had to go through three railway gates between Tirupati and Tiruttani. We got abnormally delayed because of the second railway gate also having been closed. I told my sambandi Rajagopal, who was sitting next to me, that I lost the hope of having darshan of Periyaval on that day. At that time, a private car negotiated its way to the front of our car and stopped just before the gate. On the outside of the back window of the car, the name ‘CHANDRASEKAR’ was written in big letters. I told Mr. Raiagopal, somewhat humorously, that unless ‘THAT CHANDRASEKHAR’ comes to our help, the gates will not open. I thought Rajagopal might not have understood what I said. I explained that unless CHANDRASEKHARENDRA SARASWATI comes to our help, the gates will not open in time for us to be in Kancheepuram. Just then, would the readers believe it, the driver of the car in front got out, went to the gate keeper; talked to him for a minute and came back. Immediately gate-keeper operated the gates. The “chandrasekar’ car fled through and our three taxis followed it. When that car and our three taxis reached the third gate, it was also found closed. I told Rajagopal that I was praying that the same thing should happen again. It did. After some more distance, the Chandrasekar car went in a different direction. Rajagopal told me that the car must have belonged to a Minister or some senior official of Andhra Pradesh Government. But I told him, “It is my Periyaval’s one more arrangement for me.” We reached the Kanchi Math at 11.40 a.m. My brother Ganapati and his wife were there already, waiting for us. My brother told us that Periyaval was about to finish giving darshan and that we should rush to the place where Periyaval was giving darshan. By 11.50, we were all in front of Periyaval. Our friends who were by the side of Periyaval, introduced us one by one. My newly wedded son Guruprasad and his wife and then the rest got prasadams from Periyaval. The curtain was closed, soon after. Then we paid our respects to His Holiness Sankara Vijayendra Saraswati and His Holiness Sri Jayendra Saraswati and got their blessings and prasadams and went to Madras that evening. I “The memory of those thirty returned, with my second son Prabhakar, the next day to U.S.A.
I these pages of narration of my experiences with Periyaval, I have used the words, ‘my Periyaval’, Periyaval’, ‘Karunamurthy’ and God’. I know I have not defined God (Could I have?) and have not attempted to prove that Periyaval is God (Could I have?). I leave these to the readers. I think that all I would say, like what Max Mueller said of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, that Periyaval is a wonderful mixture of God and Man. As for me, I am sure now, more than ever, that I lived with God for fifteen long years.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Interaction w/Mahatma Gandhiji, Sri Kripananda Variar Swamigal
Interaction w/Mahatma Gandhiji, Sri Kripananda Variar Swamigal
TOWARDS THE end of the 19th century, May 20, 1894, to be precise, corresponding to eighth day of Vaikasi “Jaya” year, humanity was blessed with the birth of Sri Chandrasekarendra Saraswathi Swamigal, who at the age of 13, in 1907, took to a life of renunciation and for 87 years travelled on foot through the length and breadth of this country, blessing all sections of the people, who longed for his darshan. A polyglot, he spoke to the devotees in their native tongue and discussed all their areas of interest with equal felicity. Every devotee, after having darshan felt happy that the Acharya cared about him and of his family.
Universally respected, religious heads and Adeenams supported the Acharya in his movement to promote the Bhakti Marga.
Paramacharya had a soft corner for Sri Kripananda Variar. During one of their meetings, Variar tried to prostrate before Paramacharya, who stopped the devotee. To an amazed Variar, Periyava said, “You are wearing Sivalinga around your neck and it will touch the floor if you prostrate and that should not happen.” Overwhelmed, Variar shed tears, moved by the deep respect Swami had for Siva puja. Once when Variyar was asked to speak about himself, he was at a loss for words. Kanchi Paramacharya who was present on the occasion, said, “Why don’t you tell people that you have given away every penny you have earned, keeping nothing for yourself?” Variyar remarked, “Even my wife doesn’t know that I give away everything I earn, but now the Paramacharya has told everyone.”
In 1927, (on October 15) Mahatma Gandhi, during his tour of South India called on Paramacharya, who was camping at Nallicheri in Palakkad. The meeting took place in a cow-shed. Gandhiji was highly impressed with the handspun saffron cloth the Acharya was wearing.
The remarkable dialogue between the most venerated religious head and the Father of the Nation went on for more than an hour, Paramacharya using the medium of Sanskrit and Gandhiji speaking in Hindi. The Sage of Kanchi impressed upon the Mahatma, that faith and devotion to God, alone, decided the fate of all human activities. Gandhiji reciprocated the sentiments.
It was 5.30 p.m. and when Rajaji, who had accompanied him, reminded him that it was meal time (Gandhiji did not take food after 6 p.m.), the Mahatma replied that the dialogue with Swami was more nutritious for him. Paramacharya presented an orange to Gandhiji, which he received with great satisfaction, the fruit he expressed, he loved most.
Paramacharya visited the former princely state of Cochin in 1928, when Sri Rama Varma Maharaj (who was later in 1948 installed as the “Maharaja of Cochin”) had darshan of the Acharya.
To honour the Maharaja who was eminent as a distinguished ruler and a great litterateur, the Paramacharya desired to confer on him the title “Darsana Kalanidhi.” The presentation ceremony was held in Ernakulam on December 4, 1948, and the entire elite section of the State attended the function. With the invocation prayer by Sri Chembai Vaidyanatha Bhagavathar the celebration began and Sri Ananthakrishna Sastrigal read the “Srimukham” presenting the title.
The Srimukham described the greatness of the Maharaja, his noble qualities of head and heart.
The Srimukham was presented by Justice Panchapakesa Sastry of the Madras High Court, who paid glorious tributes to the great qualities of the Maharaja and his immense support for the study of Sanskrit.
In his reply, the Maharaja said, “I prostrate before His Holiness, who as Adi Sankara is an incarnation of Lord Parameshwara. I cannot find words to express my gratitude or thank His Holiness for bestowing on me a great honour. In the olden days even kings surrendered before religious Heads, who had the power of their penance as the only valuable asset. King Rama Pada of Angadesa prostrated before Sage Rishyasingar for rain and King Dushyanta before Sage Vasishta for progeny. I pray before His Holiness to bless this country with happiness to all.”
The same prayer holds good now. Prayer for a peaceful, happy and fearless life, free from drought and famine.
God in Human Form – Part II by Dr. Subramanian Swamy
God in Human Form – Part II by Dr. Subramanian Swamy
After wonderful discourse from Maha Periyawal Sri Chandrashekhara Saraswathi in 1977, I went to have Parmacharya’s darshan numerous times. Whenever I had a difficult question that I could not answer, I would go and ask him for guidance. He gave me audience also in abundance. I got to see him whenever I came to Kanchipuram, or at Belgam in Karnataka or at Satara in Maharashtra or wherever else he was. But I did not publicize these darshan sessions in the newspapers as some others were doing. This was greatly appreciated by the Mutt officials and pujaris.
When Indira Gandhi returned to power in 1980, defeating the Janata Party, I was upset, and wondered if Emergency would be declared again. So I went with a group of Janata workers to the Karnataka – Maharashtra border, where Sri Parmacharya was camping on his walking tour. When I reached him, he was sitting in a hut almost as if he was waiting for me. As soon as he saw me, he got up and started briskly walking to a nearby temple. I just stood there watching him. Soon he stopped walking and sent someone to ask me to come to him alone.
When I reached where he was standing, he said to me anticipating my question; “It is a good thing that Indira Gandhi has got an absolute majority. At this juncture, the country needs a stable government, and only Indira Gandhi is in a position to give that stability.” “But what if she declares another Emergency and tries to put us all in jail?” I asked.
To this question, Parmacharya only smiled and put his hand up in his known style of bestowing his blessings. I did not realize at that time, that Indira Gandhi had before elections, gone to Hubli in Karnataka where he was camping and prostrated before the Parmacharya. On her own, she had vowed to him and had said that if she came back to power, she will not repeat the mistakes of the past of declaring an Emergency. Then she asked for his blessings, which the Parmacharya had given by raising his hand and showing his palm.
As I was leaving, Parmacharya asked me if I could work to unite the opposition and include the communists in it. “Communists!” I asked in utter incredulity. I added: “The Soviet Union has just invaded Afghanistan (December 27, 1979), and are preparing to capture Pakistan , and then soon they will swallow India . How can we believe the Communists?”
“Not like that at all” said Parmacharya to me. He clearly gave me a hint that Communists will never be a danger to India . In fact he gave me a clear indication that in some years to come the Soviet Union will not be there at all. I just could not believe what I heard. But eleven years later, that is exactly what happened. The Soviet Union broke up in 1991 into 16 countries, a development no human being foresaw. Parmacharya was above human, a divine soul. He could see it. To this day I regret that I did not act on his advice because I spent nearly a decade (ten years 1980 -90) opposing Communism, little realizing that it was going to collapse of its own weight. I earned the Communists enmity for nothing. That is the only advice of Parmacharya I did not act on. On other occasions, I blindly followed whatever he told me. Of course, the golden rule with Parmacharya was that he would not on his own offer any advice, but when I asked him, he showed me the way. When my mind was made up on anything, I did not ask him what I should do. Of course if I did not have his blessings, I rarely succeeded.
In 1987 for example, I tried to land with some fisherman in the island of Katchathivu to assert the rights of fisherman under the Indo-Sri Lanka accord. MGR was Chief Minister then. He had me arrested in Madurai and put me up in Tamilnadu Hotel instead of Madurai jail. The then DGP, told me clearly that unless I give up the Katchathivu trip and agreed to return to Chennai, they would keep me under arrest. Those days I knew little criminal Law, so I agreed to return to Chennai not knowing my rights. After arriving in the city I drove to Kanchipuram and saw the Parmacharya. I told him of my humiliation and my inability to go to Katchathivu. Parmacharya smiled at me as if I was a child. He told me: “You go to Delhi and file a case in the Supreme Court against the arrest, and ask the court to direct the Tamilnadu government to make arrangements for you to go Katchathivu”.
So I flew that evening to Delhi . My wife is an advocate in the Supreme Court, so I asked her to draft my writ petition. She was shocked by my request, “The Supreme Court will laugh at you if you come directly on a question of arrest. You must first go before Magistrate in Madurai , then Sessions Court, the High Court, and then only to Supreme Court” she said.
I insisted that she draft the petition. So finally she said “As an advocate, I don’t want to look foolish in the Court. So I will draft your petition but the rest you do. I won’t associate with it.” But my blind faith in Parmacharya kept me going. With the petition filed, I appeared in the Court of the Chief Justice Venkataramiah. I arrived in the Court a few minutes before the Chief Justice took his seat. Many lawyers who recognized me met me to ask why I had come, they all laughed. All of them said: “Your Petition will not only be dismissed, but also the Chief Justice will pass remarks against your stupidity, and for wasting the time of the Supreme Court.”
When my Petition came up for hearing, a miracle happened. Chief Justice Venkataramaiah asked the Tamilnadu Counsel (then Kuldip Singh, who became a famous Judge himself later) why the Government had arrested me. Taken by surprise at the Petition not being dismissed, Kuldip Singh stammered. “Kuldip Singh went on to explain that a pro-LTTE mob was against me going to Katchathivu, and the LTTE had also issued a threat to finish me. Chief Justice Venkataramaiah then burst out at Kuldip Singh. He thundered “Are you fit to call yourself a democratic government? If mob wants to stop Dr.Swamy, you arrest the mob not Dr.Swamy.”
The Chief Justice then passed an order that the Government should make all the necessary arrangements for me to go to Katchathivu. No one in court could believe it. Some asked me: “Are you related to Venkataramaiah?” I am not only not related, but those days I did not even know him. But I had the blessings of Parmacharya, and I was doing as he asked me to.
That was the divine power of Parmacharya ; when he asked you to do anything, he also took measures to see that the right thing happened.
After the Supreme Court verdict, I met Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi in Parliament House. Kuldip Singh had already informed him of the court verdict. So he told me: “Why did you not speak to me first? I would have told MGR to allow you. In any case, when you plan to go to Katchathivu, the navy and air force will give you cover. But the fishing boat on which you travel has to be provided by you.”
On May 8, 1988, I landed on Katchathivu and planted the Janata Party’s saffron and green flag, and prayed at the St.Anthony Church there. As I approached the island, there were navel patrol boats on either side of my fishing vessel which I had taken on hire. Two air force planes were flying over me. I felt grand like a king. My salutations went to the Parmacharya. He made the impossible possible. From being arrested in Madurai to being royally escorted to Katchathivu, only Parmacharya could arrange.
After wonderful discourse from Maha Periyawal Sri Chandrashekhara Saraswathi in 1977, I went to have Parmacharya’s darshan numerous times. Whenever I had a difficult question that I could not answer, I would go and ask him for guidance. He gave me audience also in abundance. I got to see him whenever I came to Kanchipuram, or at Belgam in Karnataka or at Satara in Maharashtra or wherever else he was. But I did not publicize these darshan sessions in the newspapers as some others were doing. This was greatly appreciated by the Mutt officials and pujaris.
When Indira Gandhi returned to power in 1980, defeating the Janata Party, I was upset, and wondered if Emergency would be declared again. So I went with a group of Janata workers to the Karnataka – Maharashtra border, where Sri Parmacharya was camping on his walking tour. When I reached him, he was sitting in a hut almost as if he was waiting for me. As soon as he saw me, he got up and started briskly walking to a nearby temple. I just stood there watching him. Soon he stopped walking and sent someone to ask me to come to him alone.
When I reached where he was standing, he said to me anticipating my question; “It is a good thing that Indira Gandhi has got an absolute majority. At this juncture, the country needs a stable government, and only Indira Gandhi is in a position to give that stability.” “But what if she declares another Emergency and tries to put us all in jail?” I asked.
To this question, Parmacharya only smiled and put his hand up in his known style of bestowing his blessings. I did not realize at that time, that Indira Gandhi had before elections, gone to Hubli in Karnataka where he was camping and prostrated before the Parmacharya. On her own, she had vowed to him and had said that if she came back to power, she will not repeat the mistakes of the past of declaring an Emergency. Then she asked for his blessings, which the Parmacharya had given by raising his hand and showing his palm.
As I was leaving, Parmacharya asked me if I could work to unite the opposition and include the communists in it. “Communists!” I asked in utter incredulity. I added: “The Soviet Union has just invaded Afghanistan (December 27, 1979), and are preparing to capture Pakistan , and then soon they will swallow India . How can we believe the Communists?”
“Not like that at all” said Parmacharya to me. He clearly gave me a hint that Communists will never be a danger to India . In fact he gave me a clear indication that in some years to come the Soviet Union will not be there at all. I just could not believe what I heard. But eleven years later, that is exactly what happened. The Soviet Union broke up in 1991 into 16 countries, a development no human being foresaw. Parmacharya was above human, a divine soul. He could see it. To this day I regret that I did not act on his advice because I spent nearly a decade (ten years 1980 -90) opposing Communism, little realizing that it was going to collapse of its own weight. I earned the Communists enmity for nothing. That is the only advice of Parmacharya I did not act on. On other occasions, I blindly followed whatever he told me. Of course, the golden rule with Parmacharya was that he would not on his own offer any advice, but when I asked him, he showed me the way. When my mind was made up on anything, I did not ask him what I should do. Of course if I did not have his blessings, I rarely succeeded.
In 1987 for example, I tried to land with some fisherman in the island of Katchathivu to assert the rights of fisherman under the Indo-Sri Lanka accord. MGR was Chief Minister then. He had me arrested in Madurai and put me up in Tamilnadu Hotel instead of Madurai jail. The then DGP, told me clearly that unless I give up the Katchathivu trip and agreed to return to Chennai, they would keep me under arrest. Those days I knew little criminal Law, so I agreed to return to Chennai not knowing my rights. After arriving in the city I drove to Kanchipuram and saw the Parmacharya. I told him of my humiliation and my inability to go to Katchathivu. Parmacharya smiled at me as if I was a child. He told me: “You go to Delhi and file a case in the Supreme Court against the arrest, and ask the court to direct the Tamilnadu government to make arrangements for you to go Katchathivu”.
So I flew that evening to Delhi . My wife is an advocate in the Supreme Court, so I asked her to draft my writ petition. She was shocked by my request, “The Supreme Court will laugh at you if you come directly on a question of arrest. You must first go before Magistrate in Madurai , then Sessions Court, the High Court, and then only to Supreme Court” she said.
I insisted that she draft the petition. So finally she said “As an advocate, I don’t want to look foolish in the Court. So I will draft your petition but the rest you do. I won’t associate with it.” But my blind faith in Parmacharya kept me going. With the petition filed, I appeared in the Court of the Chief Justice Venkataramiah. I arrived in the Court a few minutes before the Chief Justice took his seat. Many lawyers who recognized me met me to ask why I had come, they all laughed. All of them said: “Your Petition will not only be dismissed, but also the Chief Justice will pass remarks against your stupidity, and for wasting the time of the Supreme Court.”
When my Petition came up for hearing, a miracle happened. Chief Justice Venkataramaiah asked the Tamilnadu Counsel (then Kuldip Singh, who became a famous Judge himself later) why the Government had arrested me. Taken by surprise at the Petition not being dismissed, Kuldip Singh stammered. “Kuldip Singh went on to explain that a pro-LTTE mob was against me going to Katchathivu, and the LTTE had also issued a threat to finish me. Chief Justice Venkataramaiah then burst out at Kuldip Singh. He thundered “Are you fit to call yourself a democratic government? If mob wants to stop Dr.Swamy, you arrest the mob not Dr.Swamy.”
The Chief Justice then passed an order that the Government should make all the necessary arrangements for me to go to Katchathivu. No one in court could believe it. Some asked me: “Are you related to Venkataramaiah?” I am not only not related, but those days I did not even know him. But I had the blessings of Parmacharya, and I was doing as he asked me to.
That was the divine power of Parmacharya ; when he asked you to do anything, he also took measures to see that the right thing happened.
After the Supreme Court verdict, I met Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi in Parliament House. Kuldip Singh had already informed him of the court verdict. So he told me: “Why did you not speak to me first? I would have told MGR to allow you. In any case, when you plan to go to Katchathivu, the navy and air force will give you cover. But the fishing boat on which you travel has to be provided by you.”
On May 8, 1988, I landed on Katchathivu and planted the Janata Party’s saffron and green flag, and prayed at the St.Anthony Church there. As I approached the island, there were navel patrol boats on either side of my fishing vessel which I had taken on hire. Two air force planes were flying over me. I felt grand like a king. My salutations went to the Parmacharya. He made the impossible possible. From being arrested in Madurai to being royally escorted to Katchathivu, only Parmacharya could arrange.
God in human form – Part 1 by Dr Subramanya Swamy
God in human form – Part 1 by Dr Subramanya Swamy
Parmacharya Sri Chandrashekhar Saraswati – God in human form
I have bowed before only one sanyasi in my life, and that is Sri Chandrasekhar Saraswathi, known to the world as the Parmacharya. It is not that I am arrogant or that I have no respect for sanyasis and sadhus. In fact I respect many sadhus in this country for their learning and social services. But my upbringing, first in an English convent school, and then ten years in USA had created a distance between me and traditional Hindu culture of bowing and prostrating before any elder, or anyone in saffron clothes. Therefore, I was the “modern” Indian, believer in science, and with little concern for spiritual diversions.
In fact till the age of 30, I had not even heard of a god like human being called Sri Chandrasekhar Saraswathi. It was a chance meeting with an Indian student at Harvard in his room in the university hostel, that I saw a picture of Parmacharya on top of this student’s TV set. I asked him: “Who is he? And why are you keeping his picture?” The student just avoided the question. I also forgot about it, except that Parmacharya shining smiling face in that photograph got etched in my memory. Six years later, as my Pan American Airways plane was about to land at Delhi airport during the Emergency, I saw that smiling Parmacharya’s face reappear before me for a brief second for no reason at that time. I was coming to Delhi surreptitiously to make my now famous appearance in Parliament and subsequent disappearance, while a MISA warrant was pending for my arrest in the Emergency. At that moment, as the plane landed, I resolved that whenever the Emergency gets over, I shall search for Parmacharya and meet him.
In 1977, after the Emergency was over, and the Janata Party in Power I went to Kanchipuram to see the Parmacharya. It was in sheer curiosity that I went. Some friends arranged for me to come before him. It was a hot June evening, and Parmacharya was sitting in a cottage, a few kilometers outside Kanchipuram. As soon as he saw me, he abruptly got up, and turned his back on me, and went inside the cottage. My friends who took me there were greatly embarrassed, and I was puzzled. Since no body including the other sadhus at that ashram had any idea what went wrong, I told my friends that we should leave, since Parmacharya was not interested in giving me “darshan”.
From the cottage, we walked a few hundred yards to where my car, by which I had come to the ashram, had been parked. Just as I was getting into the car, a priest came running to me. He said “Parmacharya wants to see you, so please come back”. Again puzzled, I walked back to the cottage.
Back at the cottage, a smiling Parmacharya was waiting for me. He first asked me in Tamil: “Do you understand Tamil?” I nodded. In those days, I hardly knew much Tamil, but I hoped the Parmacharya would speak in the simplest Tamil to make it easy to understand.
He then asked me another question: “Who gave you permission to leave my cottage?” The Tamil word he used for “permission” was of Sanskrit origin, which I immediately understood. So in my broken Tamil with a mixture of English words, I replied: “Since you turned your back on me and went inside the cottage, I thought you did not want to see me.” This reply greatly irritated the priest standing in attendance on the Parmacharya. He said “You cannot talk like this to the Parmacharya”. But Parmacharya asked him to be silent, and then said that when he saw me, he was reminded of a press cutting he had been keeping in store inside the cottage and he had gone inside to fetch it.
“Here it is” he said. “Open it and read it. I opened the folded press cutting, and with some difficulty, I read the Tamil question answer piece printed in Dinamani Kadir, a magazine of Indian Express group. The press cutting had a photograph of me and below it the question asked by a reader: “Is the hero of the Emergency struggle, Dr.Subramanian Swamy a Tamilian?” And the answer given was, “Yes he is a native of Cholavandhan of Madurai District.”
Parmacharya asked me, “Is this your photograph, and is the answer given to the question correct?” I nodded. Then Parmacharya said: “Now you may go. But in the future when you come, you cannot leave till I give you permission to leave.” Everyone around me was naturally very impressed, that Parmacharya had given so much special attention especially since in those days, he often went on manuvvat (silence vow). As I left a sense of elation at the meeting with Parmacharya. I wanted to come back again. I could not understand why a “modern” person like me should want to see a sanyasi, but I felt the urge strongly.
A month later, the Tamilnadu Assembly elections were on, and I was passing Kanchipuram in the campaign rail. So I told the Janata Party workers to spare me some time to pay a visit to the Parmacharya.
When I again reached the same cottage, a priest was waiting for me. He said: “Parmacharya is expecting you.” I asked: “How is this possible, when I decided at that last minute to come, without appointment?” The priest replied. “That is a silly thing to ask. Parmacharya is divine. He knows every thing”.
Sure enough a radiant smiling Parmacharya received me. I thought that this time too, our meeting would last a few minutes, and after a few pleasantries, I can continue on my election campaign. But not so. Parmacharya spoke to me for 1-1 1/2 hours on all important subjects. He gave me guidelines on how to conduct myself in politics and what was necessary to protect the national interest of the country.
He told me that in politics, I should never bother about money or position, because both would follow me whenever an occasion demanded. But I should not be afraid to stand alone. He told me that all great persons of India were those who changed the thinking of the people from a particular set way of thought to a new way of thinking. “That is the permanent achievement for a politician, not merely becoming Minister or Prime Minister. Great persons, starting with Adi Shankara, to Mahatma Gandhi dared to stand alone and change the trend of people’s thought. But did either hold a government position?” he asked me. He said “If you dare to think out fresh solutions for current problems, without bothering about your popularity, and without caring for whether a government position comes to you or not, you will have my blessings.” When he said that I felt a strange sensation of happiness. I suddenly felt very strong.
During the period since my first meeting with the Parmacharya, I had thought a lot about him, heard his praise from so many people. From what I learnt and what I saw of him, I began to feel his divinity. There was no other human like him. If nothing else, he was one sadhu who did not bless Indira Gandhi during the Emergency when in the height of her power and at the height if the nation’s sycophancy, she came and prostrated before him. And yet when Indira Gandhi was down during the Janata rule, he received her and gave his blessings to her after she repented for the Emergency.
It is this thought, every time (that if I do something sincerely, and for what is for the good of the people) that Parmacharya’s blessings will be with me and see me through the interim period of public and media criticism and unpopularity, that has given me this courage that today even my enemies do not deny that I possess. In such endeavours, even though in the beginning when most thought that I was doomed, I came out it successful in the end because of his blessing.
In the next few instalments I shall, without drawing the Parmacharya’s name into the controversy, reveal many such initiatives that I took with his blessings. From 1977 to his day of Samadhi, I met the Parmacharya so many times and received his oral benediction and advice. But I never gave it publicity or got myself photographed. During his life time, I did not boast of my proximity to him either, although whenever I came to the Kanchi Mutt, always without appointment, he would see me. If he was asleep, he was awakened by his close helpers to whom he had obviously given instructions about me. There may not be another god in human form for another 100 years, but it was my honour to have known him and received his blessings. He may not be here today in human form, but because of what he had instructed me, I know and feel his is around.
Parmacharya Sri Chandrashekhar Saraswati – God in human form
I have bowed before only one sanyasi in my life, and that is Sri Chandrasekhar Saraswathi, known to the world as the Parmacharya. It is not that I am arrogant or that I have no respect for sanyasis and sadhus. In fact I respect many sadhus in this country for their learning and social services. But my upbringing, first in an English convent school, and then ten years in USA had created a distance between me and traditional Hindu culture of bowing and prostrating before any elder, or anyone in saffron clothes. Therefore, I was the “modern” Indian, believer in science, and with little concern for spiritual diversions.
In fact till the age of 30, I had not even heard of a god like human being called Sri Chandrasekhar Saraswathi. It was a chance meeting with an Indian student at Harvard in his room in the university hostel, that I saw a picture of Parmacharya on top of this student’s TV set. I asked him: “Who is he? And why are you keeping his picture?” The student just avoided the question. I also forgot about it, except that Parmacharya shining smiling face in that photograph got etched in my memory. Six years later, as my Pan American Airways plane was about to land at Delhi airport during the Emergency, I saw that smiling Parmacharya’s face reappear before me for a brief second for no reason at that time. I was coming to Delhi surreptitiously to make my now famous appearance in Parliament and subsequent disappearance, while a MISA warrant was pending for my arrest in the Emergency. At that moment, as the plane landed, I resolved that whenever the Emergency gets over, I shall search for Parmacharya and meet him.
In 1977, after the Emergency was over, and the Janata Party in Power I went to Kanchipuram to see the Parmacharya. It was in sheer curiosity that I went. Some friends arranged for me to come before him. It was a hot June evening, and Parmacharya was sitting in a cottage, a few kilometers outside Kanchipuram. As soon as he saw me, he abruptly got up, and turned his back on me, and went inside the cottage. My friends who took me there were greatly embarrassed, and I was puzzled. Since no body including the other sadhus at that ashram had any idea what went wrong, I told my friends that we should leave, since Parmacharya was not interested in giving me “darshan”.
From the cottage, we walked a few hundred yards to where my car, by which I had come to the ashram, had been parked. Just as I was getting into the car, a priest came running to me. He said “Parmacharya wants to see you, so please come back”. Again puzzled, I walked back to the cottage.
Back at the cottage, a smiling Parmacharya was waiting for me. He first asked me in Tamil: “Do you understand Tamil?” I nodded. In those days, I hardly knew much Tamil, but I hoped the Parmacharya would speak in the simplest Tamil to make it easy to understand.
He then asked me another question: “Who gave you permission to leave my cottage?” The Tamil word he used for “permission” was of Sanskrit origin, which I immediately understood. So in my broken Tamil with a mixture of English words, I replied: “Since you turned your back on me and went inside the cottage, I thought you did not want to see me.” This reply greatly irritated the priest standing in attendance on the Parmacharya. He said “You cannot talk like this to the Parmacharya”. But Parmacharya asked him to be silent, and then said that when he saw me, he was reminded of a press cutting he had been keeping in store inside the cottage and he had gone inside to fetch it.
“Here it is” he said. “Open it and read it. I opened the folded press cutting, and with some difficulty, I read the Tamil question answer piece printed in Dinamani Kadir, a magazine of Indian Express group. The press cutting had a photograph of me and below it the question asked by a reader: “Is the hero of the Emergency struggle, Dr.Subramanian Swamy a Tamilian?” And the answer given was, “Yes he is a native of Cholavandhan of Madurai District.”
Parmacharya asked me, “Is this your photograph, and is the answer given to the question correct?” I nodded. Then Parmacharya said: “Now you may go. But in the future when you come, you cannot leave till I give you permission to leave.” Everyone around me was naturally very impressed, that Parmacharya had given so much special attention especially since in those days, he often went on manuvvat (silence vow). As I left a sense of elation at the meeting with Parmacharya. I wanted to come back again. I could not understand why a “modern” person like me should want to see a sanyasi, but I felt the urge strongly.
A month later, the Tamilnadu Assembly elections were on, and I was passing Kanchipuram in the campaign rail. So I told the Janata Party workers to spare me some time to pay a visit to the Parmacharya.
When I again reached the same cottage, a priest was waiting for me. He said: “Parmacharya is expecting you.” I asked: “How is this possible, when I decided at that last minute to come, without appointment?” The priest replied. “That is a silly thing to ask. Parmacharya is divine. He knows every thing”.
Sure enough a radiant smiling Parmacharya received me. I thought that this time too, our meeting would last a few minutes, and after a few pleasantries, I can continue on my election campaign. But not so. Parmacharya spoke to me for 1-1 1/2 hours on all important subjects. He gave me guidelines on how to conduct myself in politics and what was necessary to protect the national interest of the country.
He told me that in politics, I should never bother about money or position, because both would follow me whenever an occasion demanded. But I should not be afraid to stand alone. He told me that all great persons of India were those who changed the thinking of the people from a particular set way of thought to a new way of thinking. “That is the permanent achievement for a politician, not merely becoming Minister or Prime Minister. Great persons, starting with Adi Shankara, to Mahatma Gandhi dared to stand alone and change the trend of people’s thought. But did either hold a government position?” he asked me. He said “If you dare to think out fresh solutions for current problems, without bothering about your popularity, and without caring for whether a government position comes to you or not, you will have my blessings.” When he said that I felt a strange sensation of happiness. I suddenly felt very strong.
During the period since my first meeting with the Parmacharya, I had thought a lot about him, heard his praise from so many people. From what I learnt and what I saw of him, I began to feel his divinity. There was no other human like him. If nothing else, he was one sadhu who did not bless Indira Gandhi during the Emergency when in the height of her power and at the height if the nation’s sycophancy, she came and prostrated before him. And yet when Indira Gandhi was down during the Janata rule, he received her and gave his blessings to her after she repented for the Emergency.
It is this thought, every time (that if I do something sincerely, and for what is for the good of the people) that Parmacharya’s blessings will be with me and see me through the interim period of public and media criticism and unpopularity, that has given me this courage that today even my enemies do not deny that I possess. In such endeavours, even though in the beginning when most thought that I was doomed, I came out it successful in the end because of his blessing.
In the next few instalments I shall, without drawing the Parmacharya’s name into the controversy, reveal many such initiatives that I took with his blessings. From 1977 to his day of Samadhi, I met the Parmacharya so many times and received his oral benediction and advice. But I never gave it publicity or got myself photographed. During his life time, I did not boast of my proximity to him either, although whenever I came to the Kanchi Mutt, always without appointment, he would see me. If he was asleep, he was awakened by his close helpers to whom he had obviously given instructions about me. There may not be another god in human form for another 100 years, but it was my honour to have known him and received his blessings. He may not be here today in human form, but because of what he had instructed me, I know and feel his is around.
God in Human Form – Part III by Dr Subramanian Swamy
God in Human Form – Part III by Dr Subramanian Swamy
In 1981, I became successful in persuading the Chinese government in re-opening for Hindu pilgrims the route to Kailash and Manasarovar. After 3 years of persuading the Chinese, in April 1981 the Chinese strongman Deng Xiao Ping invited me to China to meet him. In that meeting, he told me that as a “special favour to me and my efforts and in recognition of my steady advocacy of improved Sino-Indian relations [ he used the term "lao peng yeou" 'meeting old friend' ] he was asking the officials to meet Indian counter parts to work out the arrangements for pilgrims to visit Kailash. Deng had in jest asked me “But you must go first”. He had said it jokingly, but I was keen to see Kailash and Manasarovar. So when I met Mrs. Gandhi in Delhi to tell her of my meeting with Deng, I told her that I will lead the first batch of pilgrims and that she should agree. She laughed and said “of course. I wish I could go too.”
The opening of Kailash and Manasarovar had been considered impossible by our Foreign Ministry officials. China is a communist country and Kailash and Manasarovar is in the most sensitive area of Tibet . Therefore how could China allow Indians, even if as Pilgrims, to walk into Tibet ? But the impossible happened because throughout the three years of talks with the Chinese, Parmacharya not only gave his blessings to me for this venture but encouraged me. “We must be friends with China and Israel ” he would keep telling me whenever I came to him for darshan and anugraha (blessings).
When the Kailash and Manasarovar re-opening was announced, the first batch consisting of 20 pilgrims was slated to go in the end of August. That meant in 30 days of walking from the end of August to late September. By the time, we return, it would be end of September. At those heights in the Himalayas , September meant snow and ice cold temperatures, and that we would have to walk! Foreign ministry officials told me that since the route had not been in use for nearly 25 years, it would be a rough walk. We would have to clear bushes on the way, and perhaps encounter animals and snakes!
To make matters worse, Inderjit Gupta, then a CPI Lok Sabha MP, and good friend of many years, asked my wife to prevent me from going on this trip since I would not return. “It requires mountaineers to trek this route, not people like us” he told her. Others told me that I should think of my family (of two daughters then age 11 and 8) and not venture on such foolishness. In fact one BJP MP, perhaps more out of jealousy than concern, told me that it is punya (blessing) to die on the route to Kailash. If that were so, I wondered, why not a single BJP or RSS leader has ever gone on a pilgrimage to Kailash? Perhaps because there are no Muslims there, nor a Masjid to demolish! BJP is anti-Muslim but not pro -Hindu, so Kailash means nothing of political value to them.
But the net result of all this was that a scare was created in my family and social circles. Many urged me to forget going to Kailash. I had done my duty, they said, in getting the route opened, but it is not necessary to go there. My daughters reminded me of my promise made the previous year that I would be with them on my birthday, which fell on September 15th. The previous year I had to be away to address a meeting in Bihar . If I went to Kailash I would again not be in Delhi on my birthday. This troubled me.
So anguished and confused by all this I flew to Bangalore , and drove down to where Parmacharya was camping. He was reading a book when I saw him. He put down his book and glasses, and asked me what brought me to him. “Kailash and Manasarovar route has been opened with your blessings. I have been asked by our Government to lead the first batch of pilgrims. But all my colleagues in Parliament are scaring me with stories of what can go wrong with me on this hazardous trip”. Parmacharya said in a comforting voice “Nothing will happen. You go and come. The opening of Kailash route is a great achievement for our country”
“I have only regret. That I will not be able to be with my daughters in Delhi on my birthday” I added. “When is your birthday?” He asked. “September 15th. But the journey back will not be completed before September 30th.” Parmacharya only smiled. He puts his palm in blessing and merely said: “you go and come”. I left on September 1st on my journey.
My journey to Manasarovar lake and then for a darshan of Kailash went very smoothly thanks to Parmacharya’s blessings. I returned to the Tibet-India border on September 13th, and camped that night at Kalapani, a military cantonment on the Indian side. That night, faraway from Delhi on the Himalayas , I could not help thinking of my daughters and my promise to them to be with them on my birthday. It would be another 15 days of walking before I could reach the plains and then Delhi .
Next morning at breakfast, the camp commandant came to me with a telex from Delhi . It said that on Prime Minister’s instruction, an air force helicopter would be coming that morning at 10 AM from Bareilly to pick me up and take me back to Bareilly , from where I will be taken by car to Delhi . I was thrilled. This meant that I would be in Delhi on September 14th evening, and be with my family on the next day for my birthday! What a miracle!
I was that time just an MP, and that too from the opposition. And yet this privilege was extended to me. The only reason for this was the blessing of Parmacharya. With this blessing, any miracle could happen. I was honoured to witness it. I prayed to Lord Shiva and Durga at the Kalapani temple at 18,000 feet above sea level, with snow all around. I said a special thanks to Parmacharya. When I returned to Delhi , and thereafter went to see Parmacharya, I explained all that happened. He merely smiled.
In 1986, I was passing Kanchipuram, so I made a detour and went to the Kanchi Mutt. Parmacharya was there giving Darshan to hundreds of people. I also stood in the crowd. But the pujaris saw me and whispered to the Parmacharya that I had come. So he asked me to come close and sit before him. After the crowds had left, he looked at me as if to ask me why I had come. The Babri Masjid issue then was hotting up, and so I said Parmacharya that I was planning to visit Ayodhya to study the situation. I asked the Mahaswami what stand should I take.
Parmacharya looked at me very sternly and said “you are a politician. Why do you have to take a stand on a religious issue? You stay out of it. You spend your energies on improving our economy or our relations with China and Israel .” I was taken aback by his stern remarks. But I persisted and said “At least the Government will have to take a stand”. He said: “Let the government make it possible for the religious leaders of both religions to come together and work out a compromise. But you stay out of it.
I then told Parmacharya that my friend, and leading Babri Masjid agitator Mr.Syed Shahabuddin wanted to see his holiness, and whether I could do bring him next time. The pujaris around the Parmacharya protested. They said that Shahabuddin was anti-Hindu, and he should not be allowed inside the Mutt.
The Parmacharya waved away their objections. He gave me permission to bring him to the Mutt. Then he said to the Pujaris. “Only Subramanian Swamy knows the art of befriending Americans, Chinese and Israelis at the same time. He can also be a friend of Shahabuddin.” Then turning to me, he said: “Keep this quality. Never be afraid of making friends with anyone.” I have followed this advice despite heavy criticism from the media. I have made friends with Morarji, Chandrasekhar and Indira Gandhi after terrific quarrels with them. Sometimes one needs to quarrel to come to an understanding of each other’s strength. Generally, I love to oppose those in authority because for a strong democracy, opposition is necessary. But Indian society being feudal, those in power underestimate who oppose them. And in my case, people in power have always underestimated me because they think I am alone. But they don’t realize I have friends everywhere, in all political parties and in all important countries. That is why I have won all my battles against Government.
Because I have never betrayed anyone, these friendships remain for a long time. In 1990, I could have betrayed Chandrasekhar and fallen for temptation offered by Rajiv Gandhi to become PM. But when I discouraged this idea, Rajv Gandhi’s esteem of me and trust in me went sky high. Because of the trust I develop my friends from all over the world confide in me. People ask me often “How do you get so much accurate information”. This is the answer. I have secret friends and open enemies. Most other people have the opposite: secret enemies and open friends.
Thus Shahabuddin trusted me to bring him to the Mutt with honour. In early 1987, I brought Shahabuddin to see Parmacharya. I brought the fierce Muslims-rights agitator Mr.Syed Shahabuddin to Kanchipuram to have a darshan of the Parmacharya. Shahabuddin had told me many a times that he had a urge to see the Parmacharya. He never explained why. Nor I asked him why since I assumed everyone would like to see a living God on earth.
Although Shahabuddin is a strict Muslim, he accepted two fundamental points defining a patriotic Indian Muslim. The first point, a patriot would accept that though he is a Muslim, his ancestors are Hindus since 99.9 percent of Muslims of India are descendents of converts. Muslims who think that their ancestors are Persians or Arabs or from Tajikistan , can never be patriotic Indians, because they live in a myth. They are psychologically uprooted from India . The second point is that although the present day Indian culture is composite, in which all communities and religions have contributed, the core of this culture is Hindu in character and substance. Hence even if one changes one religion, it need not lead to a change of culture. Religion is personal, culture belongs to the nation.
Shahabuddin had accepted the two points and that is why I defended him against the charge that he was communal. But the RSS [which is not pro-Hindu, but merely anti-Muslim], saw in Shahabuddin a convenient hate figure, and dubbed him a “second Jinnah”. Naturally bigots of the RSS protested when they came to know that I was bringing Shahabuddin to meet Parmacharya. When we arrived at the Kanchi Mutt, the Mutt-Pujaris told me that Parmacharya had wanted me to bring Shahabuddin right into the inner part of the Mutt where he was staying. We were made to sit before a shut door, and told Parmacharya would come soon.
The door was opened by Parmacharya himself. When Shahabuddin saw him, he started to weep, with tears rolling down his cheeks. He folded his hands in a ‘namaste’ and said “Oh my Lord Parmacharya, please save my community and save the nation”. I was taken aback [Much later when we were back on our way to Chennai, I asked Shahabuddin why he broke down , before the Parmacharya. He simply said that he could not control himself when he saw the radiant face of the Parmacharya.]
Parmacharya asked Shahabuddin what troubled him. He said “The Babri Masjid has been shut to Muslims by a Court Order and I pray to you to help us open it to us”. [At that time, 1988 there was no talk of its demolition by RSS]. Parmacharya told him that Hindus and Muslims should work out a compromise. He suggested a number of proposals, such as joint prayers, or Hindu Prayers on Monday-Wednesday-Friday and Muslims Namaz on other days with Sunday being denied to both. All these compromise proposals, Shahabuddin said, would be unacceptable to devout Muslims.
I added in my proposal. Koran prohibits Namaz in constructions built by demolishing other religions holy places : therefore if it can be proved that a temple was demolished by Babar’s men to build the mosque in Ayodhya, and then the Muslims themselves should agree to the Babri Masjid demolition.
Parmacharya looked at me with a benign smile. He had earlier warned me to stay away from this issue, instead asked me to concentrate on political and economic issues. But Shahabuddin quickly agreed that Koran prohibited reading namaz in such places, but contested that Babri Masjid was built on a temple site. He said he had construction blue prints to prove his point. Two hours of discussion had taken place, and therefore the Mutt pujaris were getting impatient. A big crowd was waiting for the Parmacharya’s darshan. So Parmacharya closed his discussion by asking Shahabuddin to bring his blue prints and come again. Surprisingly, again Shahabuddin prostrated before him, and then we both left.
Shahabuddin never came back again. But two years later, I became the Law Minister. I confronted the Muslim organizations with a proposal that the Government would appoint a Supreme Court Judge in a one man Commission of inquiry to determine whether or not there was a temple before the Babri Masjid was built. And if the conclusion was that there was a temple, then Muslims must agree to give up the Masjid. If not, then the Hindus would vacate the masjid.
Surprisingly, while all the Muslim organisations agreed to my proposal, the fanatic Hindu organizations refused to agree. Our government did not last long enough for me to go ahead with the Commission of Inquiry anyway disregarding the fanatics. Nor could I persuade the successor Narasimha Rao Government to follow my proposal. It would have amicably resolved the issue. But alas, Babri Masjid was finally demolished in bitterness.
Perhaps Parmacharya was telling me not to get involved from the beginning because he foresaw that it would be demolished as a part of destiny. If Babar’s violence was undone 450 years later, then RSS violence on December 6, 1992 could also be undone someday, but I hope, by understanding and love. Otherwise the cycle of violence will continue in the country, with the Hindus and Muslims not reconciled to each other.
In April 1990, I received an urgent summons from Parmacharya to come to Kanchipuram. So I rushed. When I saw him, he merely smiled, put up his palm in blessing and then waved me on to go away! I was puzzled. Why was I asked to rush to the Kanchi Mutt from Delhi , merely to be sent away? The Mutt pujaris told me that on Parmacharya’s instructions the Mutt had decided that I was to share the dais with Rajiv Gandhi on the occasion of Parmacharya’s 97th birthday in May that year, to be celebrated in Kanchipuram. It turned out that no other politician except Rajiv and myself were to share the platform. It was a great honour, not only that I would be with Rajiv, but more that it was on Parmacharya’s instructions. But why did he so honour me?
That May meeting turned out to be crucial for me, because it created a rapport with Rajiv which I did not have before. Rajiv too had great regard for the Parmacharya and therefore his selection of me to pair with Rajiv, meant for Rajiv that I could be trusted. From that date onwards, Rajiv trusted me blindly with no reservations.
Parmacharya thus not only altered my outlook, but he also ensured from time to time that I came on the right path. Once for example, in 1992, the two junior swamis, Jayendra Saraswati and Vijendra Saraswati had asked me to collect some funds for a Ghatikasthanam library that they wanted to build in honour of the Parmacharya. They even printed letter heads to make me the “Patron” of the project, but insisted on a donation.
With great difficulty, I collected Rs.15 lakhs and gave it to them as Janata Party’s gift. When Parmacharya came to know about it, he sent me a query: “Why should you donate to the Mutt when you are yourself begging for funds from the people to run your party? Please do not do it in the future”. Since then I have stopped giving donations to any cause. Beggars cannot donate.
Naturally, when Parmacharya attained samadhi in 1994, I felt like an orphan in public life. HE was always there when I had a dilemma to set things right. But I had the God’s grace to see him, a living divinity, for 17 years. Many of his opinions and directions I can never reveal, because he said them knowing fully well that I will keep it to myself. But by guided and listening to him, I have become so strong mentally as a person, that I feel that no one can cow me down or demoralize me no matter how bad a situation I am in.
Parmacharya taught me that the easiest way to finish an enemy is to make him a friend. He had urged me not to hate the sin, but the sinner. Of course, sometimes the easiest way is not available because of ego clash, and so the sinner has to fought to be made to realize the sin. But one has to keep in mind that there is a God’s scheme, redemption for the sinner what we call as prayaschitam. The ultimate revenge belongs to the divine. As human beings we have no right to revenge; only self-defence and righteous struggle. As Hindus, this is easy to understand because we believe in the law of Karma. People who see me fighting fiercely with Indira Gandhi, Chandrasekhar and Jayalalitha and then working with them get confused or even disgusted at what they perceive as my opportunism. I do not make up with those I quarrel with at height of their power, but when they cease to be in office. The reason for this flexibility in making friends out of enemies of yester year is the advice that Parmacharya once gave me in 1977: ” India is plagued by divisions, and the egos of our rajas had played havoc with our national security, making it easy for foreigners to conquer us. Therefore, never hesitate to create unity, without of course compromising on the fundamental concepts of morality. India has never forgotten those who unite the nation.” I have defined three such fundamental moral principles.
These three fundamental concepts of morality are
I shall not speak lie, even if I withhold truth.
I shall practice what I shall preach.
What I do will be transparent for all to see. I consider myself therefore free to plan my political strategy as I see best, without regard to criticism from my political opponents, but within these three moral limits.
In 1981, I became successful in persuading the Chinese government in re-opening for Hindu pilgrims the route to Kailash and Manasarovar. After 3 years of persuading the Chinese, in April 1981 the Chinese strongman Deng Xiao Ping invited me to China to meet him. In that meeting, he told me that as a “special favour to me and my efforts and in recognition of my steady advocacy of improved Sino-Indian relations [ he used the term "lao peng yeou" 'meeting old friend' ] he was asking the officials to meet Indian counter parts to work out the arrangements for pilgrims to visit Kailash. Deng had in jest asked me “But you must go first”. He had said it jokingly, but I was keen to see Kailash and Manasarovar. So when I met Mrs. Gandhi in Delhi to tell her of my meeting with Deng, I told her that I will lead the first batch of pilgrims and that she should agree. She laughed and said “of course. I wish I could go too.”
The opening of Kailash and Manasarovar had been considered impossible by our Foreign Ministry officials. China is a communist country and Kailash and Manasarovar is in the most sensitive area of Tibet . Therefore how could China allow Indians, even if as Pilgrims, to walk into Tibet ? But the impossible happened because throughout the three years of talks with the Chinese, Parmacharya not only gave his blessings to me for this venture but encouraged me. “We must be friends with China and Israel ” he would keep telling me whenever I came to him for darshan and anugraha (blessings).
When the Kailash and Manasarovar re-opening was announced, the first batch consisting of 20 pilgrims was slated to go in the end of August. That meant in 30 days of walking from the end of August to late September. By the time, we return, it would be end of September. At those heights in the Himalayas , September meant snow and ice cold temperatures, and that we would have to walk! Foreign ministry officials told me that since the route had not been in use for nearly 25 years, it would be a rough walk. We would have to clear bushes on the way, and perhaps encounter animals and snakes!
To make matters worse, Inderjit Gupta, then a CPI Lok Sabha MP, and good friend of many years, asked my wife to prevent me from going on this trip since I would not return. “It requires mountaineers to trek this route, not people like us” he told her. Others told me that I should think of my family (of two daughters then age 11 and 8) and not venture on such foolishness. In fact one BJP MP, perhaps more out of jealousy than concern, told me that it is punya (blessing) to die on the route to Kailash. If that were so, I wondered, why not a single BJP or RSS leader has ever gone on a pilgrimage to Kailash? Perhaps because there are no Muslims there, nor a Masjid to demolish! BJP is anti-Muslim but not pro -Hindu, so Kailash means nothing of political value to them.
But the net result of all this was that a scare was created in my family and social circles. Many urged me to forget going to Kailash. I had done my duty, they said, in getting the route opened, but it is not necessary to go there. My daughters reminded me of my promise made the previous year that I would be with them on my birthday, which fell on September 15th. The previous year I had to be away to address a meeting in Bihar . If I went to Kailash I would again not be in Delhi on my birthday. This troubled me.
So anguished and confused by all this I flew to Bangalore , and drove down to where Parmacharya was camping. He was reading a book when I saw him. He put down his book and glasses, and asked me what brought me to him. “Kailash and Manasarovar route has been opened with your blessings. I have been asked by our Government to lead the first batch of pilgrims. But all my colleagues in Parliament are scaring me with stories of what can go wrong with me on this hazardous trip”. Parmacharya said in a comforting voice “Nothing will happen. You go and come. The opening of Kailash route is a great achievement for our country”
“I have only regret. That I will not be able to be with my daughters in Delhi on my birthday” I added. “When is your birthday?” He asked. “September 15th. But the journey back will not be completed before September 30th.” Parmacharya only smiled. He puts his palm in blessing and merely said: “you go and come”. I left on September 1st on my journey.
My journey to Manasarovar lake and then for a darshan of Kailash went very smoothly thanks to Parmacharya’s blessings. I returned to the Tibet-India border on September 13th, and camped that night at Kalapani, a military cantonment on the Indian side. That night, faraway from Delhi on the Himalayas , I could not help thinking of my daughters and my promise to them to be with them on my birthday. It would be another 15 days of walking before I could reach the plains and then Delhi .
Next morning at breakfast, the camp commandant came to me with a telex from Delhi . It said that on Prime Minister’s instruction, an air force helicopter would be coming that morning at 10 AM from Bareilly to pick me up and take me back to Bareilly , from where I will be taken by car to Delhi . I was thrilled. This meant that I would be in Delhi on September 14th evening, and be with my family on the next day for my birthday! What a miracle!
I was that time just an MP, and that too from the opposition. And yet this privilege was extended to me. The only reason for this was the blessing of Parmacharya. With this blessing, any miracle could happen. I was honoured to witness it. I prayed to Lord Shiva and Durga at the Kalapani temple at 18,000 feet above sea level, with snow all around. I said a special thanks to Parmacharya. When I returned to Delhi , and thereafter went to see Parmacharya, I explained all that happened. He merely smiled.
In 1986, I was passing Kanchipuram, so I made a detour and went to the Kanchi Mutt. Parmacharya was there giving Darshan to hundreds of people. I also stood in the crowd. But the pujaris saw me and whispered to the Parmacharya that I had come. So he asked me to come close and sit before him. After the crowds had left, he looked at me as if to ask me why I had come. The Babri Masjid issue then was hotting up, and so I said Parmacharya that I was planning to visit Ayodhya to study the situation. I asked the Mahaswami what stand should I take.
Parmacharya looked at me very sternly and said “you are a politician. Why do you have to take a stand on a religious issue? You stay out of it. You spend your energies on improving our economy or our relations with China and Israel .” I was taken aback by his stern remarks. But I persisted and said “At least the Government will have to take a stand”. He said: “Let the government make it possible for the religious leaders of both religions to come together and work out a compromise. But you stay out of it.
I then told Parmacharya that my friend, and leading Babri Masjid agitator Mr.Syed Shahabuddin wanted to see his holiness, and whether I could do bring him next time. The pujaris around the Parmacharya protested. They said that Shahabuddin was anti-Hindu, and he should not be allowed inside the Mutt.
The Parmacharya waved away their objections. He gave me permission to bring him to the Mutt. Then he said to the Pujaris. “Only Subramanian Swamy knows the art of befriending Americans, Chinese and Israelis at the same time. He can also be a friend of Shahabuddin.” Then turning to me, he said: “Keep this quality. Never be afraid of making friends with anyone.” I have followed this advice despite heavy criticism from the media. I have made friends with Morarji, Chandrasekhar and Indira Gandhi after terrific quarrels with them. Sometimes one needs to quarrel to come to an understanding of each other’s strength. Generally, I love to oppose those in authority because for a strong democracy, opposition is necessary. But Indian society being feudal, those in power underestimate who oppose them. And in my case, people in power have always underestimated me because they think I am alone. But they don’t realize I have friends everywhere, in all political parties and in all important countries. That is why I have won all my battles against Government.
Because I have never betrayed anyone, these friendships remain for a long time. In 1990, I could have betrayed Chandrasekhar and fallen for temptation offered by Rajiv Gandhi to become PM. But when I discouraged this idea, Rajv Gandhi’s esteem of me and trust in me went sky high. Because of the trust I develop my friends from all over the world confide in me. People ask me often “How do you get so much accurate information”. This is the answer. I have secret friends and open enemies. Most other people have the opposite: secret enemies and open friends.
Thus Shahabuddin trusted me to bring him to the Mutt with honour. In early 1987, I brought Shahabuddin to see Parmacharya. I brought the fierce Muslims-rights agitator Mr.Syed Shahabuddin to Kanchipuram to have a darshan of the Parmacharya. Shahabuddin had told me many a times that he had a urge to see the Parmacharya. He never explained why. Nor I asked him why since I assumed everyone would like to see a living God on earth.
Although Shahabuddin is a strict Muslim, he accepted two fundamental points defining a patriotic Indian Muslim. The first point, a patriot would accept that though he is a Muslim, his ancestors are Hindus since 99.9 percent of Muslims of India are descendents of converts. Muslims who think that their ancestors are Persians or Arabs or from Tajikistan , can never be patriotic Indians, because they live in a myth. They are psychologically uprooted from India . The second point is that although the present day Indian culture is composite, in which all communities and religions have contributed, the core of this culture is Hindu in character and substance. Hence even if one changes one religion, it need not lead to a change of culture. Religion is personal, culture belongs to the nation.
Shahabuddin had accepted the two points and that is why I defended him against the charge that he was communal. But the RSS [which is not pro-Hindu, but merely anti-Muslim], saw in Shahabuddin a convenient hate figure, and dubbed him a “second Jinnah”. Naturally bigots of the RSS protested when they came to know that I was bringing Shahabuddin to meet Parmacharya. When we arrived at the Kanchi Mutt, the Mutt-Pujaris told me that Parmacharya had wanted me to bring Shahabuddin right into the inner part of the Mutt where he was staying. We were made to sit before a shut door, and told Parmacharya would come soon.
The door was opened by Parmacharya himself. When Shahabuddin saw him, he started to weep, with tears rolling down his cheeks. He folded his hands in a ‘namaste’ and said “Oh my Lord Parmacharya, please save my community and save the nation”. I was taken aback [Much later when we were back on our way to Chennai, I asked Shahabuddin why he broke down , before the Parmacharya. He simply said that he could not control himself when he saw the radiant face of the Parmacharya.]
Parmacharya asked Shahabuddin what troubled him. He said “The Babri Masjid has been shut to Muslims by a Court Order and I pray to you to help us open it to us”. [At that time, 1988 there was no talk of its demolition by RSS]. Parmacharya told him that Hindus and Muslims should work out a compromise. He suggested a number of proposals, such as joint prayers, or Hindu Prayers on Monday-Wednesday-Friday and Muslims Namaz on other days with Sunday being denied to both. All these compromise proposals, Shahabuddin said, would be unacceptable to devout Muslims.
I added in my proposal. Koran prohibits Namaz in constructions built by demolishing other religions holy places : therefore if it can be proved that a temple was demolished by Babar’s men to build the mosque in Ayodhya, and then the Muslims themselves should agree to the Babri Masjid demolition.
Parmacharya looked at me with a benign smile. He had earlier warned me to stay away from this issue, instead asked me to concentrate on political and economic issues. But Shahabuddin quickly agreed that Koran prohibited reading namaz in such places, but contested that Babri Masjid was built on a temple site. He said he had construction blue prints to prove his point. Two hours of discussion had taken place, and therefore the Mutt pujaris were getting impatient. A big crowd was waiting for the Parmacharya’s darshan. So Parmacharya closed his discussion by asking Shahabuddin to bring his blue prints and come again. Surprisingly, again Shahabuddin prostrated before him, and then we both left.
Shahabuddin never came back again. But two years later, I became the Law Minister. I confronted the Muslim organizations with a proposal that the Government would appoint a Supreme Court Judge in a one man Commission of inquiry to determine whether or not there was a temple before the Babri Masjid was built. And if the conclusion was that there was a temple, then Muslims must agree to give up the Masjid. If not, then the Hindus would vacate the masjid.
Surprisingly, while all the Muslim organisations agreed to my proposal, the fanatic Hindu organizations refused to agree. Our government did not last long enough for me to go ahead with the Commission of Inquiry anyway disregarding the fanatics. Nor could I persuade the successor Narasimha Rao Government to follow my proposal. It would have amicably resolved the issue. But alas, Babri Masjid was finally demolished in bitterness.
Perhaps Parmacharya was telling me not to get involved from the beginning because he foresaw that it would be demolished as a part of destiny. If Babar’s violence was undone 450 years later, then RSS violence on December 6, 1992 could also be undone someday, but I hope, by understanding and love. Otherwise the cycle of violence will continue in the country, with the Hindus and Muslims not reconciled to each other.
In April 1990, I received an urgent summons from Parmacharya to come to Kanchipuram. So I rushed. When I saw him, he merely smiled, put up his palm in blessing and then waved me on to go away! I was puzzled. Why was I asked to rush to the Kanchi Mutt from Delhi , merely to be sent away? The Mutt pujaris told me that on Parmacharya’s instructions the Mutt had decided that I was to share the dais with Rajiv Gandhi on the occasion of Parmacharya’s 97th birthday in May that year, to be celebrated in Kanchipuram. It turned out that no other politician except Rajiv and myself were to share the platform. It was a great honour, not only that I would be with Rajiv, but more that it was on Parmacharya’s instructions. But why did he so honour me?
That May meeting turned out to be crucial for me, because it created a rapport with Rajiv which I did not have before. Rajiv too had great regard for the Parmacharya and therefore his selection of me to pair with Rajiv, meant for Rajiv that I could be trusted. From that date onwards, Rajiv trusted me blindly with no reservations.
Parmacharya thus not only altered my outlook, but he also ensured from time to time that I came on the right path. Once for example, in 1992, the two junior swamis, Jayendra Saraswati and Vijendra Saraswati had asked me to collect some funds for a Ghatikasthanam library that they wanted to build in honour of the Parmacharya. They even printed letter heads to make me the “Patron” of the project, but insisted on a donation.
With great difficulty, I collected Rs.15 lakhs and gave it to them as Janata Party’s gift. When Parmacharya came to know about it, he sent me a query: “Why should you donate to the Mutt when you are yourself begging for funds from the people to run your party? Please do not do it in the future”. Since then I have stopped giving donations to any cause. Beggars cannot donate.
Naturally, when Parmacharya attained samadhi in 1994, I felt like an orphan in public life. HE was always there when I had a dilemma to set things right. But I had the God’s grace to see him, a living divinity, for 17 years. Many of his opinions and directions I can never reveal, because he said them knowing fully well that I will keep it to myself. But by guided and listening to him, I have become so strong mentally as a person, that I feel that no one can cow me down or demoralize me no matter how bad a situation I am in.
Parmacharya taught me that the easiest way to finish an enemy is to make him a friend. He had urged me not to hate the sin, but the sinner. Of course, sometimes the easiest way is not available because of ego clash, and so the sinner has to fought to be made to realize the sin. But one has to keep in mind that there is a God’s scheme, redemption for the sinner what we call as prayaschitam. The ultimate revenge belongs to the divine. As human beings we have no right to revenge; only self-defence and righteous struggle. As Hindus, this is easy to understand because we believe in the law of Karma. People who see me fighting fiercely with Indira Gandhi, Chandrasekhar and Jayalalitha and then working with them get confused or even disgusted at what they perceive as my opportunism. I do not make up with those I quarrel with at height of their power, but when they cease to be in office. The reason for this flexibility in making friends out of enemies of yester year is the advice that Parmacharya once gave me in 1977: ” India is plagued by divisions, and the egos of our rajas had played havoc with our national security, making it easy for foreigners to conquer us. Therefore, never hesitate to create unity, without of course compromising on the fundamental concepts of morality. India has never forgotten those who unite the nation.” I have defined three such fundamental moral principles.
These three fundamental concepts of morality are
I shall not speak lie, even if I withhold truth.
I shall practice what I shall preach.
What I do will be transparent for all to see. I consider myself therefore free to plan my political strategy as I see best, without regard to criticism from my political opponents, but within these three moral limits.
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